u/ESVarga

I’m a 44-year-old man living in a semi-rural area in a small city of about 40,000 people. Dating here is tough. There are single people, but the pool is pretty small.

About a year and a half ago, I ended a six year relationship. We were basically married, owned a house together, and had built a life. It didn’t work out, so we sold the house and went our separate ways. I saved a little of the money and moved into a small one-bedroom apartment near my job. My life feels much smaller now, but I’m doing okay and paying my bills.

I recently started dating again and met a woman who is very kind, warm, and thoughtful. Honestly, she may be one of the kindest people I’ve dated, but I don’t feel “wowed” by her. I like her, and I don’t have anything bad to say. I’m just not sure I feel that strong spark or desire.

So I’m wondering: at this age, what should I really be looking for?

Is attraction and that “wow” feeling still important, or should kindness, stability, and emotional safety matter more now? Is the idea of “finding the one” even real, or does love look different as we get older?

For those dating in your 40s and beyond, how did you know someone was right for you?

When I roll initiative for a monster during a dungeon crawl, it seems to reveal every monster on the map and rolls initiative for all of them. Is there a way to roll initiative for only one monster, or a small group of monsters, without exposing or activating the entire map?

Thanks!

Help me understand this. Under old IBR, I was paying 15% of my discretionary income. Since the new RAP plan caps payments at 10% of AGI, does that mean some of the people who were on the old IBR would now have lower monthly payments?

For context, I’m single with no kids. My AGI on the 2025 1040 was $61,500, though my actual salary is $68,000. I also have roughly $64,000 in student loan debt. I've been on forbearance for several years.