u/Early_Comparison_275 — reddlx

I am writing this from a hotel room because I reached a point where I could no longer stay in the house I share with my girlfriend. For her birthday, I went above and beyond to make her feel special, only to find out later that just days after that celebration, she was reaching out to her ex to ask for explicit videos.
At the beginning of our relationship, her ex used to harass her with videos and messages, but eventually, she stopped mentioning it to me. About a month ago, I got curious and asked when they had last spoken. She told me it was "months ago" and even showed me her phone, but the chat was entirely deleted. She claimed she didn't know why, suggesting maybe someone was blocked, but it was a massive red flag.
The gut feeling didn't go away, so a week ago I asked her again. This time, she opened the chat and I actually heard an audio message she had sent to the ex, saying: "Why are you asking me what type of video I want? By the tone of your voice, it sounds like you already know." When I confronted her, she looked me in the eye and said she "didn't remember."
A few days ago, the ex messaged her again. My girlfriend is French and offered to translate the text for me, but I felt something was off, so I read it myself. The ex was actually accusing her of being disrespectful and flirting with her five months ago while we were already together. When I asked her to read the text in front of me, she just got angry. I told her she had ruined our relationship for the sake of sexting her ex and that we were done.
After hours of silence, she finally came to me with a "truth" that still felt like a lie. She admitted that days after her birthday she asked for a video, but claimed she felt guilty and told the ex not to send it because it "wasn't fair." She says she didn't tell me because she was afraid of my reaction and that it "meant nothing," blaming her actions on a need to feel independent or being unhappy at the time.
What makes this unbearable is that for the past year, I have gone above and beyond for her in every way, while the only effort I received in return was a single Valentine's card that I actually had to ask for. Despite this, she constantly claims she "doesn't feel loved," which feels like a slap in the face given the level of betrayal I’ve discovered.
Even after begging me not to leave and saying she would do "anything" to get me back, she did absolutely nothing. She just went into the other room to watch her shows and wouldn't even speak to me unless I reminded her of her own promises. I’ve left for two days because I can't keep having conversations filled with lies. I'm struggling to understand how someone can say they love you while systematically hiding a betrayal for months.
How do I move forward from this? Is there any way to rebuild trust when someone lies to your face?