u/Early_Lifeguard827

For context, my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about two years and I plan on moving states to live with him here in a few months (lease already signed). Our relationship has been great for the most part but recently I’ve noticed his (for lack of a better word) laziness a lot more than usual. I brought it up a few months ago and he said that he’s sorry and he would get his stuff together and he did follow through with that for a couple weeks but then slipped back into the cycle.

He works a serving job (around 20-30 hours a week) and the rest of his time is mostly spent sleeping until 12-2pm ish and then scrolling his phone and watching TV until it’s time for work. After work he goes home, occasionally cooks, hangs out with his friends, plays games and watches TV, calls me, and stays up until 3-5am. He’s made several mentions before that he wants a hobby and wants to get fit because he’s insecure and I’ve done my best to support this because I’m a fit and busy person.

It’s gotten to the point where I can feel a bit of resentment building because he does nothing all the time. I try and help and try to motivate him but he always has some sort of excuse and then shuts down on me and it’s becoming very frusturating. I understand taking an off day to be lazy here and there but it’s become an everyday pattern and I feel like he should WANT to do better for himself.

How do I bring this up to him without seeming like im trying to be a bitch and boss him around? All I want is to see him do something different than sit around on his phone and tv because I know he has so much potential.

His main excuse is that it’ll be easier when I move up to where he is because I can help hold him accountable but I feel like if he’s that insecure with himself that he’d want to start making changes immediately. I honestly just don’t get it and don’t know how I can help.

Any advice is much appreciated, I don’t want to break up with him. I just want him to value himself and his body more and have a healthier lifestyle (not just physical fitness, but mentally). I can tell that sitting around all day has caused him insecurity and has contributed to his depression, but I don’t know how to push him to get out and do something about it.

TL;DR Boyfriend has grown into a pattern of laziness and I don’t know how to help

For context, my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about two years and I plan on moving states to live with him here in a few months (lease already signed). Our relationship has been great for the most part but recently I’ve noticed his (for lack of a better word) laziness a lot more than usual. I brought it up a few months ago and he said that he’s sorry and he would get his stuff together and he did follow through with that for a couple weeks but then slipped back into the cycle.

He works a serving job (around 20-30 hours a week) and the rest of his time is mostly spent sleeping until 12-2pm ish and then scrolling his phone and watching TV until it’s time for work. After work he goes home, occasionally cooks, hangs out with his friends, plays games and watches TV, calls me, and stays up until 3-5am. He’s made several mentions before that he wants a hobby and wants to get fit because he’s insecure and I’ve done my best to support this because I’m a fit and busy person.

It’s gotten to the point where I can feel a bit of resentment building because he does nothing all the time. I try and help and try to motivate him but he always has some sort of excuse and then shuts down on me and it’s becoming very frusturating. I understand taking an off day to be lazy here and there but it’s become an everyday pattern and I feel like he should WANT to do better for himself.

How do I bring this up to him without seeming like im trying to be a bitch and boss him around? All I want is to see him do something different than sit around on his phone and tv because I know he has so much potential.

His main excuse is that it’ll be easier when I move up to where he is because I can help hold him accountable but I feel like if he’s that insecure with himself that he’d want to start making changes immediately. I honestly just don’t get it and don’t know how I can help.

Any advice is much appreciated, I don’t want to break up with him. I just want him to value himself and his body more and have a healthier lifestyle (not just physical fitness, but mentally). I can tell that sitting around all day has caused him insecurity and has contributed to his depression, but I don’t know how to push him to get out and do something about it.

TL;DR Boyfriend has grown into a pattern of laziness and I don’t know how to help