u/EarthTurnsSlowly

Assalamualaikum sisters, I need some advice.

I wear a full hijab and long skirt everywhere, but lately I’ve been feeling more and more isolated by the combo. I’ve never fit in visually, so I’ve always overcompensated with my personality so people wouldn’t leave me out. However, it doesn’t matter. No matter my attempts, I’m always treated like I don’t belong.

It’s starting to get to me because, based on visuals alone, I look different. For context, I live in North America and was born there too. I try to make friends, but they see my outfit and immediately close off. It’s like no one wants to associate or interact with me for longer than a few minutes.

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to go outside or look anybody in the eyes. I avoid eye contact because it’s happened too many times where someone is randomly staring at me, looking mad.

I fear the only time I’ll feel like I belong somewhere is during Umrah, because I’m a foreigner traveling. I can belong in passing and in that context, and I don’t have to stay long enough to experience discrimination. I don’t fit in the country I’m ethnically from either because I wasn’t born there.

I tell myself Allah will reward me for enduring this struggle and that I don’t need anyone who isolates someone based on appearance. But I’m just alone and left feeling like I don’t belong.

Even typing this, I feel like no one will care, and the only type of care or solid advice I’ll receive is from someone (a therapist) paid to do so.

Is there any advice you can share with me? like a different perspective or encouragement

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u/EarthTurnsSlowly — 16 days ago

Assalamualaikum! Where do you genuinely meet people looking for marriage? I don’t want to meet someone in islamic lectures because the context doesn’t seem appropriate to me. I’m not interested in meeting someone at work because i like to keep that environment separate from my personal. I don’t post myself on social media. The apps feel draining to me and remove qualities i’m attracted to so it becomes a guessing game of “will i like them irl?”.

This just leaves attending muslim events, weddings and weekly hobby get togethers left. The thing is no guy has approached me for marriage before. It’s either stares or fleeting compliments. I’m thinking it’s maybe my height (6’1”) making me intimidating or i don’t give off vibes to approach me. Which circles back to social media apps not designed for anonymity and marriage apps being my best bet but is this really the best options?

What marriage seeking routes genuinely bring back the best potentials for marriage or is online really the best?

reddit.com
u/EarthTurnsSlowly — 18 days ago