Needy person
I met a guy online like 5 months ago. We met in person, but then he left for his city. He seemed so fragile, nice and lonely that I kept replying to his texts.
Over time, I realized he gets obsessed with whoever he's dating. When he has a girl, he forgets about me. As soon as she breaks up with him (within a month or less), he comes back super needy, wanting constant communication and hours of me listening to his depressing problems. Its horrible.
I told him I'm not romantically interested, but I felt bad because he is so "lonely", that I offered friendship. He calls me his "best and only friend" – weird because we just met. But I thought he was maybe autistic, or socially awkawrd so I tried to help and cheer him up to meet new people.
Recently he told me he doesn't want my advice, just for me to sit for hours and validate his "women are evil, I'm a victim" narrative. I told him otherwise and he got mad. He also said he doesn't really want new friends because according to him, no one near him is interesting enough. So i felt trapped, like he wasnt going to move a finger to make any connection and felt suffocated.
He texts me daily, even if I reply after days, he answers instantly, forcing connection. It's causing me distress. And since its a stranger and i saw a lot of red flags in our lasts interactions I don't feel safe confronting or blocking him – I prefer to slow fade.
My question: How to handle this? Does anyone relate? If I tell him I met a guy and I'm busy with friends, would that help or make him more obsessed? I feel he does this because im single and thinks he can leave me as an option if he doesnt find anyone else and he doesnt really respect that i told him i didnt like him in that way. I think he'll eventually find someone else to burden with his fake problems, but he's so intense that women run away quickly, and then he comes back to me.