u/East_Meets_West_

Im a 53M who is in the process of getting an official diagnosis for ADHD. Psychiatrist said he couldn’t diagnosis definitively until I was 30 days sober (35 today) Ive been a chronic weed smoker and drinker for 40 years, so he wanted to rule out any possibility of marijuana induced psychosis, fair enough.

Both my parents are bi-polar, and he thinks there’s likely some co-morbidity, perhaps not enough to qualify for a DSM diagnosis, but enough to rule out ever prescribing me stimulants due to risk of overstimulation leading to a manic episode or worse, a psychotic break.

Started me on Lamotrigine 25mg, titrated to 50mg 2 weeks later, this coming Wed I titrate to full dose of 100mg. Have felt no different the past month. Fwiw my dad’s been on 300mg daily for a decade. His wife & dr both think hes also got adhd (and now that i know more about it so do i) but he’s never been evaluated or diagnosed, and probably never will be.

2 weeks ago began Strattera, 25mg, then 50mg a week later, titrating to full 75mg dose yesterday. OMFG! From the very first time I took the 25mg, I felt a difference immediately. Initally the only reference point I could compare how it made me feel to was when I used to take very pure MDMA (made by chemistry prof at UC Berkeley) back in my 20’s in the heyday of the underground rave scene. A sense of calm and euphoria, like everything had a soft glow to it. That may have just been my body adjusting, I tend to be very sensitive to any drugs and feel them immediately and intensely (the C19 vaxxes were ROUGH).

The best way I can describe how Strattera has made me feel so far is the following:

1. I feel like my entire life. I’ve had three radio stations (at least!) playing in my head on top of each other. This is made it very hard to stay focused on one thing and if I let my mind run, I’ll have a never-ending stream of consciousness when I talk to people, it’s usually when someone has gotten tired of listening to me that I’ll stop otherwise I won’t lol . once I started taking Strattera, It’s like two of those three radio stations got turned way down, not completely off but low enough where they’re just a dull murmur in the background and I can easily focus on whatever it is I’m trying to focus on without the amount of mental effort and energy it used to take.

2. i’ve always been off the charts on the hyperactivity spectrum but able to focus on things that I’m interested in and I was always interested in school, which is how I think I might’ve flown under the radar and not got diagnosed when I was younger. as a professional adult, that level of focus has required a lot of mental effort and energy so that by midday, I would need some sort of boost, usually caffeine and by the end of the day I’d be so mentally exhausted that all I would wanna do is get high watch Netflix or listen to music.since I started taking the Strattera that hasn’t happened either and at the end of the day like now at 6:30 PM PST I don’t have as much energy as I did when I took it this morning, but I feel like I still got plenty of gas in the tank and could do more focused work if I needed to.

3. i’ve never been a great sleeper and have other issues such as sleep apnea, which I’m also trying to work on, but since started to take since I started taking the lamotrigine, it’s gotten worse, even though I take both medication‘s first thing in the morning. It’s not uncommon for me to be up until one or two in the morning and then waking up at five or six, but once I started taking the Strattera as soon as it kicked in I no longer felt mentally exhausted or groggy, even though I’ve also been taking Seroquel to try and help me sleep, which my psychiatrist prescribed when he prescribed the Lamotrigine and before the Strattera, it would take me a few hours to clear the mental fog left as a side effect

I have a follow up appointment with my psychiatrist in two weeks and I’m excited to review my results with him and also hopefully get to an actual formal diagnosis.

Thanks for listening to my long story here. I would appreciate any insight in input or feedback from people who have been walking down the Strattera Road longer than the two weeks and one day that I have.

I’m a 53M just coming to terms with the fact that despite being highly functional and successful by traditional societal terms (wife/kids/house/job) that I am neuro-divergent, definitely have ADHD, and probably a few more co-morbidities.

My wife of 25 yrs was the one to stumble upon it, years of all kinds of therapy missed it, nobody caught in childhood, though I was hyper and would never shut up, I didnt have any issues w school, hyper focused and got good grades.

I found my way to performing arts/music young, then transitioned into sales as an adult and have been there for 30 years, so was fortunate to find lanes that allowed me to leverage my attributes to my advantage, but have always had very “sharp edges” would blow up inappropriately, unable to “read the room”, and while able to make my way in the world, needed daily consumption of alcohol and weed to cope.

My wife was suggested to read Barkley’s book, read it, insisted I read it, and while resistant at first, eventually did and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Literally every aspect of myself i’ve always loathed or wondered why I couldn’t better control, was described as a symptom of ADHD.

I requested an evaluation by my health insurer, filled out the 20-page questionaire, waited 3 weeks to have a video visit w a psychiatrist
and he acknowledged that I presented ADHD symptoms, but he was concerned about other co-morbidity, both my parents are bi-polar, so he said im 75% likely to be too. He started me on Lamotrigine, been taking it for a week. Had my second mtg w him yesterday, finished reviewing my questionaire, and prescribed Strattera which I ordered and should arrive tomorrow. He says he cant finalize diagnosis until im 30-day sober, im 19 days today.

So that’s my story, I’m dealing with a lot of emotions, relief, remorse, shame, anger at not being diagnosed sooner, fear that the meds will make me a different person. Spent 18 mos prior to this in addiction medicine trying one mood stabilizer or anti-depressant after another and all any of them did was make me feel worse. Smoking pot is the only things thats ever made my mind slow down enough to feel “normal” ive given that up and am struggling to retain control of my thoughts, urges, and impulses. Hoping the new meds will help, worried that they won’t and know that even if they do, they wont be a panacea, I still need toearn how to live life on life’s terms w ADHD and possibly more.

Sorry for such a long post, would appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thank you🙏

Tomorrow is two weeks postop, Ive been following all my Dr’s & PT Nurses instructions, doing my pt exercises 3x/day, walking 5 min/hour, icing regularly. Have been able to manage pain w only ice & Tylenol the past week, everything has been going great and i haven’t ever felt the pain was unmanageable, until last night.

Thursday the PT Nurse cleared me to walk w cane unsupervised and to walk up/down stairs. Thursday & Friday I worked at my sit/stand desk (in the standing position) taking breaks sitting in my Aeron chair (adjusted higher than usual) when my leg started feeling fatigued.

Yesterday I decided I was ready to move from the “recovery room” (aka a bed in our front room downstairs) back into the bedroom upstairs. I had gone upstairs once or twice Thurday/Friday, yesterday was probably five times. With the bed gone from our first floor I sat more and laid on the couch, i felt i could walk short distances w/o the cane and did so several times.

When I went upstairs for bed and laid down, I felt discomfort i had not to this point. Burning sensation at wound site, jolts of pain shooting down my leg, throbbing pulsating sensations. I couldnt get comfortable & couldnt sleep. Suffice it to say, it was the roughest night I’ve had in a week.

Clearly I overdid it yesterday. This is something that has worried me about the pacing of recovery. I am usually very active & after two weeks of mostly laying in bed, being allowed to and feeling able to be more mobile made me want to do more than my body was ready for and I paid the price in pain last night.

Today I am going to take it much easier, I do NOT want to feel like I did when I got into bed last night again, EVER. I had plans to go look at a new car (SUV higher up so I can keep my hips at 90 degree angle when driving) but im going to postpone them and just rest.

Sharing this as a cautionary tale, had read similair accounts here from others but didn’t appreciate fully the consequences of pushing myself too far. The pain & soreness im now feeling is no joke, icing is helping & i just took some Tylenol for Arthritis, but I dont think im gonba be using the stairs today unless absolutely necessary.

Hope my experience is helpful to others and thanks for listening!