u/Eastern_Exam_3595

My partner and I have this friend in our friend group who has almost no social awareness. It’s like his view of the world, world issues and social situations are stuck in 2010. He’s in his mid 30s (close in age to the rest of us) and he isn’t on social media much, which is a problem here, because I feel like he just doesn’t know how to act in public and doesn’t know what to joke about and what not to joke about. For example, he says the “R word” a lot and makes gay jokes in public. I’m pretty woke, but I’m not going to call him out on stuff like this in private in order to “keep the peace”. but he has no idea how to act in public and it’s embarrassing. Just to give you a glimpse of the type of person he is. He is probably the only person we hang out with who is like this. I do think he’s actually good person and a loyal friend, but he’s too much.

We took a trip this week as a group for my 30th birthday and multiple times, I would order food or dessert and he would take his utensils and try and get a bite of my food. (He does this to other people too) he doesn’t ask… he just does it. And we would all probably offer him a bite, but he doesn’t ask first.

Then, we went out to my official birthday dinner at this very expensive restaurant (that everyone was on board with btw). Everyone gets a dessert menu, including that guy and everyone figures out what they want and is about to order. My partner secretly orders me a sampler of deserts (big enough for 2 people tops) for me, which was $45. It comes out right before they are going to order. The server sets it down and the guy immediately takes a spoon and starts digging in. At this point, I guess I am now okay with sharing with the table so I let everyone else have a couple of bites (despite everyone getting their own desserts anyway) everyone, except for him, limits it to about 2 bites because they got the memo that it is technically mine from my partner. But he set the precedent that we’re all sharing even though he didn’t ask me first. (He was the only one that took a bite without me mentioning we were sharing) so at this point, I’m only a few bites in, this guy has had more of my expensive birthday dessert than I have. I’m going for a bite of one of the desserts on the platter, and before I can even get it in my mouth, he goes “you gonna eat that??” Although I was a little sad, I didn’t say anything. I go to the bathroom, and when I come back, the guy who ate most of the dessert has ordered his own dessert, and doesn’t offer me anything after eating most of mine. So it all left a bad taste in my mouth.

On top of this, most of the restaurants won’t split the bill. So someone at the table always has to take it and have people Venmo them. He’s always been the last person to Venmo everyone, and argues (apparently, jokingly but it doesn’t come off as a joke) down to the penny.

He’s also made us late every single day that we’ve all had something planned. We’ll agree on a time to meet in the hotel lobby, and he is always the last one. And laughs about it, thinking it’s no big deal. But after multiple days, everyone is low key a bit annoyed and he does NOT get the vibe that he probably needs to apologize. Everything he does is a “joke” which is how he gets away with it. He’s 37 years old and I think it’s super embarrassing to act like this all the time.

We rented a boat on this trip, which was $600. To help everyone out, my partner paid for $400 of it so the financial load on everyone else would be small. My partner told the guy he owed him just $29 when he asked, and the guy said “nah, you can pay for it Mr money bags” or something to that effect. And laughed. No thank you or anything, really.

My partner does make a decent living, and in multiple scenarios, this guy has acted like he’s entitled to pay less than my partner whenever we do something as a group. He’ll constantly bring up the fact that my partner is “rich” and poke fun at him for being frugal when he’s just an amazing saver with big goals in mind. He’ll see something somewhat expensive my partner buys me and will kind of just be like “oh it’s not really my style” and make him feel bad for it.

I’ve known this guy for almost a decade and he’s just gotten worse. He is a very loyal friend to all of the guys and has a lot of love to give, but he just has 0 social awareness and it’s becoming somewhat unpleasant to be around him. AITAH for feeling this way? What should I do as the girlfriend? (And not the direct best friend of this guy) Should I talk to him and let him know how I feel?