How best to deal with the day by day?
I am 19 years old. I never found myself in my childhood, and so I repeatedly expected my emotional needs to be filled completely by others. for the last 3 years or so, I've had a general idea of the things I need to do. of needing to build myself up. but it was convenient for me not to try, especially since I was charismatic enough to convince people to be emotionally providing for me. a week ago, I betrayed my best friend, not for the first time either, but it was particularly ugly this time. hearing how much pain I caused and understanding how and why I was repeatedly doing it, that made me see I need to change. I've been more proactive in my therapy, I'm trying to strengthen smaller attachments like "normal" friends, and I've been somewhat closer to my mother as well. I try to do yoga, and I suppose holding on to that day by day would be good. I even enlisted in a music school. but so many of my thoughts are circling back to my best friend, and I feel this tiredness like I just can't. my thoughts go back to, "I hope one day things are better" when I feel like I should be focused on "I have to make things better, day by day" I can tell I'm ready to change, because I've been letting go of my more narcissistic tendencies, but I guess I just want advice from some people here, who might understand this feeling.