u/Easy_Butterscotch_24

We had dated for a year. Plans to get married we were very close. I’m not sure what happened really but one day she explained she is just to overwhelmed with her career and life pressures that she can’t be who she wants to be while in a relationship and left. Cried claimed to still love me. The whole thing kind of just has left me in shock, still a month later I’m still that way I don’t even know what truly happened, starting to think she lied about the reason to end things. But it’s strange because she was the most affectionate loving person I’ve ever been with, even till the end.

Well I was under the impression she just wanted to be single and focus on what she needed to focus on but now she’s on tinder? I’m just so hurt and confused, I want to ask her what’s up? I don’t even want this woman back I just I’m so confused as to if our relationship was even real? Man I wish I didn’t see her on tinder 😞 a month of healing feels like it went to waste.

I guess I wasn’t good enough? Even though she was begging me to marry her? I don’t know anymore man this breakup has broken my mental, I haven’t really been thinking straight since.

This last month has been horrible. I truly went from one of the highest highs in my life followed by the lowest of lows. I call off work at least once a week because I’m just so mentally and emotionally drained I can’t perform my work at a good level. I’m bed rotting everyday. The days I manage to get myself to work, I do my shift get home and just rot and be sad.

I’m not sure why everything is so dark for me now but I need to make a damn change. I cried at Mother’s Day dinner last night cause inside i was so sad and worried about my life and future. I care about my future but currently I don’t even have the energy to do much about it. I need to figure out what I want to do but it’s so hard when I feel this shitty daily.

I just feel a sense of doom everyday. 3 months ago I was on top of the world. I’m not sure what to do. Another day today wasted, soon I won’t have any PTO and won’t have the chance to just call off freely like this. I hate my job and I’m super unhappy, but the depression keeps me stuck, because how can I find the motivation/energy to find a new career when most days I need to fight just to get out of my bed.