Hi all! I’m seeing Sierra for the first time tonight! I’m super excited to dress up and have a heavy petal good time. I’ll be going solo! Is anyone else going by their lonesome? Anyone wanna buddy? I’ll bring the smoke :p
First Yixing if so… these came from a private collection being sold at a local tea shop. They’re both near 200 (168 for the bunny, 198 for the swan). I’ve been eyeing Yixing for a while. But I just made a big move, so safe to say, much money has been spent. Yixing users… what accounts for a deal, and should I send it while I have the chance 🤔
It’s 3am so this is kinda coming from perhaps a dramatic place, but I was struck with the realization that I don’t think I’m really as recovered as I thought I was. For a while, I was wondering if I had just swapped one ED for another on accident (AN for ARFID), as it’s just been physically difficult for me to eat more than anything. But I guess Anorexia (without nervosa) technically speaking, is “loss of appetite”. It’s a hard pill to swallow that I’m still not doing great.
I had been working really hard at recovery (without much of a support system, just my partner and God), and am in the best place mentally I’ve been honestly probably since I was a baby child and hadn’t gained full consciousness yet lol. So I hadn’t really considered that I still had an eating disorder. That label ruled over me for years, and I couldn’t figure out how to escape a diagnosis. When are you “cured” from the disease? Who decides and how?
It was a part of me for so long. My eating disorder was my life and I was so fucking ready to let it go. Now that I am experiencing it in a way that feels even more non-consensual than it was when I was feeding into it, it’s terribly terribly frustrating.
I am hungry! I want to eat! My appetite is poor and even if I’m hungry, I can only manage maybe half of whatever it is I am trying to eat. Or I have to sit there for hours trying to finish it all. It’s just killing me. I knew how to handle the mental part, I can face my mind… but for my body to physically reject nutrients… I’m at a loss.
I am thinking I need to commit to making myself liquid meals. It’s not entirely ideal but idk what else to do.
Anyway rant over thank u for coming.