Hello! Does anyone know of any legitimate job opportunities or companies currently hiring, or perhaps someone I can be referred to? I’d be happy to provide my details.
I recently lost a client - I was ghosted and unfortunately wasn’t paid for the work I did. I’m also still paying off the devices I invested in for work, so I’m really hoping to find a new opportunity soon.
Any leads or referrals would mean a lot. Thank you!
**this is gonna be a long one.** **just needed to get this off my chest.**
have you ever had that one relationship where you genuinely thought, “yeah, this is the one”? like, out of everyone you’ve ever dated, there’s just that one person you clicked with differently. you could tell her your darkest thoughts, your weirdest habits, your craziest ideas, basically anything, and you never felt judged. let’s call her aila. she was beautiful, funny, wife material, and she could really cook. my favorite was her jamaican curry goat, especially when it was extra sour. we were together for a couple of years, and honestly, i really thought she was going to be my endgame. for context, i’m a father of two. before aila, i was in a five-year relationship with the mother of my kids. we eventually broke up because we just couldn’t make things work anymore. i also had another girlfriend before aila, but that only lasted around five months. when aila came into my life, she already knew my situation. she knew i had kids, she knew i had to co-parent with their mom, and she tried her best to understand that things could get complicated sometimes.
but looking back, i realize i gave her a lot of reasons to be upset. there was this one time when it was one of my kids’ birthdays. i wanted to spend the day with my kid, so i went to their mom’s house. while i was there, i also ended up going with their mom to a few places and helping her with some errands that day. and here’s the part that makes me cringe now: i was driving aila’s car that day, and i didn’t even ask her if it was okay. i ended up sleeping over at their mom’s house because i wanted to spend more time with my kid on their birthday. obviously, aila found out. she was pissed, and honestly, i couldn’t blame her. but somehow, she still forgave me. she gave me another chance. then another. then another. and that wasn’t even the only thing she had to deal with. for years, their mom also had issues with aila. there were fights, posts on social media trying to embarrass her, talking shit about her to aila’s coworkers, and even threats about humiliating her in public. and me? i basically just told aila to ignore it. i kept telling her that there was nothing going on between me and their mom and that we weren’t getting back together. their mom even had a boyfriend at that point. apparently, she just really didn’t like aila. looking back, though, i should’ve done more. telling aila to ignore everything wasn’t enough. i should’ve set boundaries and stood up for her instead of expecting her to keep understanding my situation.
it wasn’t until after we broke up that i realized how much she had actually put up with. she was patient with me, my situation, the drama, and all the times i made her feel like she wasn’t my priority. then one day, she just stopped. there was no cheating, no huge betrayal, no crazy final fight. she just reached her limit. and when she was done, she was really done. that’s probably one of the hardest things i’ve learned. someone can love you like crazy and still eventually get tired of being hurt. there’s a point where they’ve given you so many chances that there’s simply nothing left to give. no amount of “i’ll change” or “one more chance” can fix it anymore.
and yesterday was aila’s wedding. yeah. yesterday. i saw the pictures and honestly, it hit me harder than i expected. she looked happy. like genuinely happy. and for some reason, seeing her dressed as a bride made everything feel real. this person i once thought i was going to marry was standing there, marrying someone else. i’m not gonna lie, it hurt. but at the same time, i’m happy for her. she deserves to be happy, even if that happiness isn’t with me. she looked so peaceful, less stressed, healthier, and honestly, she looks better now than she did when we were together.
i’ve met other women since aila, but honestly, none of them have felt the same. i don’t even mean that she was perfect. it’s just that our connection was different. whenever i start getting close to someone new, somehow my mind goes back to her. i compare things without meaning to, and eventually, i just lose interest. maybe i’m not really missing the relationship anymore. maybe i’m just missing the person who knew every side of me and still chose me for as long as she could.
i don’t want to interfere with her life. she’s married now, and i genuinely hope she has the life she deserves. i just wish i had realized sooner what i had when i still had it. some people really leave a mark on you, and aila definitely left one on me. yesterday, i watched someone i once thought would be my future start a new chapter with someone else. and all i could think was, “dammit! i really lost her.”