could've been normal and just said I don't feel like eating. Nooo I had to go and get suicidal while I'm at it. This has destroyed me, ever since like, 2023, maybe 2021 if we're counting before shoving my fingers in my mouth. I feel like giving myself a week to get skinny and look good. then I might die, nothing is worth it if I keep getting fat. Nothing. Ever
I think I have BPD, because alot of things including my childhood match up with that, and I want friends that get it.
Ex boyfriend broke up with me. Suicidal. Missing my groomer. Its because he's mentally struggling, and me getting randomly suicidal isn't good for him. I understand, alot really I do, it's just it was 10 days before we'd be together for a year, and I also loved him a lot. I have horrible urges, I'm being annoying to my friends, visibly unwell, and I need someone that will understand enough to not get tired. Im not gonna date you tho. Fuck off it that'd be your intention.
and I can't go to the hospital, missing more days of school would be a grade fail, yes, I have summer school because of that.
I miss him and I'm getting really depressed trying not to kill myself so if he finds out he doesn't think it's his fault cause it was so immediate. he was scared of that. I didn't want him to be, that makes me sad to think about.