How have you guys let go of needing justice from abuse?
Hello everyone, so I’m new here.
I’m wondering how some of you have wrestled with feeling injustice and wanted to ask if some of you have eventually let go of wanting to confront the person who committed the abuse? To let it out and let them know just how much damage they caused? Does it help to heal?
In my case, I was isolated to such an extent where the abuser was able to assasinate my character publicly and I never got the chance to tell my story, not even once, not even to her.
It’s just, exhausting to live in the limbo of genuinely loving someone who abused you in a very cruel and damaging way. Maybe it’s naive to say that, but I guess both things can be true at the same time, which is very sad in my opinion.
I’ve been at literal war with myself for over two years due to the guilt that was projected on me. I look back to who I was before, and I’m a very small shell of that person. I’ve become someone with little to no confidence in myself, fearing intimacy and connection, at a constant daily trial against my every move and it doesn’t seem to matter just how much self reflection I do, how much therapy I go through, or how much cathartic self exploration I do. I simply can’t shake the belief that I’m an unlovable, monstrous and abusive person at my core. So I just isolate even more because I genuinely can’t trust myself to connect with anyone anymore, I always feel like I’m manipulating them, or I’m using them, or I’m going to hurt them. I always fear I’m going to hurt people. Even if none of those things are true I just can’t shake it.