LDR with my first real wlw relationship :(
I’m crashing tf out and desperately need some support/advice.
Our relationship is very, very new—we began seeing each other about a month before I (F22) graduated college, which was not even 3 weeks ago. She (F20) still has a year of college left. Currently, we’re 3.5 hours apart. When she’s back in school, it’ll be 2 hours. I know that doesn’t sound particularly long, but this is very new for me, we’re both going to be incredibly busy, and I am not a confident driver.
I can’t stop thinking about all the things we’d be doing together and how happy we’d be if we were in the same place right now. I want to be by her all the time and right now, there’s no end to long distance in sight. Even visits are really hard to plan because of our work schedules. And it’s not going to end. We’re not going to be under 2 hours from each other for at least a year. When I think about it, I want to start screaming. There’s so much we want to do and it feels so unfair that we got like three weeks together and that was it. There’s so much I want to do with her.
Today, she said something about how she wishes we were together so that we could try all these new coffee shops. For some reason that really just hit me like a truck. I want all these normal relationship moments. For those few weeks we were together on campus, i could literally walk down the sidewalk and be at her door. I miss her so much. We talk every day and FaceTime a lot but it’s not the same. I want to be with her in person and I don’t know how to get rid of this panic that I’m not. This is my first real “adult” relationship. Everything is uncharted and I’m so anxious.
Our relationship is way too new to talk about our future plans after she graduates. I have no idea where we’ll be by then. What if we don’t make it and I never get the time with her I want?