u/Educational-Leg4914

Hi all, I hope this applies since i'm not married, just in a relationship. my boyfriend and i got together at the verrrryyy end of high school (talking like last 2 weeks before we graduated) after being friends for a bit. I had ambitions to move abroad and do my schooling there, and my boyfriend was also not interested in living in our hometown for much longer, so we took a bit of a leap of faith and moved abroad together (me first and him about a month and a half later). We have lived together for 2 years now.

before we moved, i had a lot of problems with his family. i am from a different culture (but also pretty assimilated, i was born in the same country) and experienced some racism/prejudice/ignorance early on from some of his family members, and his family is HEAVILY enmeshed, and for some reason it seemed to heavily rotate around him (or maybe it was a reaction to him being 'taken away'.) although his family members (specifically his mother) were headstrong and persistent, in my culture we are even more so, so i 'won' in the battle of getting my boyfriend out of the enmeshed environment pretty easily.

Anyway, since the economic downturn in the new country and some right-wing laws, we are being forced to move back to our country. We are moving to a different city (about a 10-hour drive), but still moving back. we both agree that the only reason he has been able to detatch from his family is how far away we have been (completely different continent, hemisphere, over 24 hours of flying, different time zones). now, there is only a 45 minute flight, or a road trip. we would be objectively able to live a better life in this new city, but the main thing that is making me hesitant now is the fact i'm beginning to believe that it will kill the space we've put between ourselves and his parents.

he has to go back to our hometown about 2x per year, and up until his last visit, he would fall for their BS all over again and i'd have to fight with him and bring him back to reality, since they (his parents and his older sister, and more recently one of his younger brothers) would spend the whole time in his ear.

i've told my mom who has told some of her friends and my brother, but he hasn't told his parents. they do this super annoying thing where they try to take control of the 'logistics' of a situation (even though they're fucking shit at logistics and take 5x the amount of time and effort to do anything that a normal person would take) and i know they will be more able to come and see us and fuck up the good thing we have going on. he has been open about the fact that the reason he thinks his mom gets her way all the time is because she wears them down, which i know isn't going to be something she can beat me at since i'm more stubborn and actually confrontational, but it's also something i enjoy not having to deal with. please help, does anyone have any wisdom here?

Hi all, i'm 20f and previously diagnosed with AN at age 10 and went into recovery at age 11/12. I think my eating disorder will always be with me and i do have relapses but i am in a much better place now.

I live with my boyfriend (20m) and we've been together for almost 3 years. eating has been weird for us since he came into the relationship with a strange, but not necessarily disordered relationship with food, but since being introduced to the food from my culture, he became someone who eats more and enjoys food. his family had an odd attitude with weight, where i remember being at his house once and his mom demanded he goes to the bathroom and weighed himself, and after he did that he walked out and told her his weight and she wrote it down in a book, then discussed his older sister's weight gain with me.

in the last 3 years, we've gone through phases of being a bit 'health crazed' together, as in going to the gym, meal prepping, but usually i crash and burn at the point i start counting calories. i haven't recovered from the latest crash, but he has, and his behaviour is becoming concerning.

he has an app that he uses to scan labels on things, brings the food scale to the dinner table to weigh what he eats, he gets weird when the recipes i know from my culture don't have exact measurements (especially with the olive oil). he literally scanned EVERY LABEL in our house. one easy meal we do is 'white people tacos', he puts together every single taco in his app so he knows if it meets his nutrition for the day, and also weighs it. i spoke to my mom, who formerly had an eating disorder too, who said she agrees with me that it sounds like an eating disorder.

i've tried to speak to him about it, and he initially said the behaviour was temporary but it's carried on. i've asked him to please stop counting his calories or weighing his food next to me at the table, which he thinks just means "don't let me see the screen" which isn't what it is, since it calls attention to what he does. he gets very upset when i bring up to him that i think his behaviour is unhealthy

i feel like all the sites about orthorexia paint a picture of someone deep into it, who is vegan, gluten-free, carb-free, underweight, so whenever i try to show him things online he denies that he has it because he isn't restricting his food intake (he is) or cutting entire food groups out, and wants to gain weight and muscle mass. he goes on these rants about how he will get nowhere with his gym progress unless he does this, (he cannot see how this affirms my opinion). i honestly have a lot of sympathy for my mom because i know how it must have felt talking to me now. he doesn't understand that eating disorders don't go to 100 immediately, and it starts with things that may seem innocuous but ramp up.

how can i help him? it's unfortunately harder for me to navigate than anorexia would be, since it's not so simple as force feeding and not so plainly bad as not eating, since he's putting in the effort to be perfectly healthy, but it's the obsessive way he's going about it. please help.

hi guys, i just completed my second year at mcgill in montreal but policy changes are making it hard for me to be here so we want to go to melbourne. my grades are average, and my ATAR from south australia was 86.75. however, i know sometimes for university applications you're able to put extenuating circumstances (i had a brain injury i was treated for recently when i was getting said average grades) and was wondering what my chances are for transferring to politics at unimelb and if applying with my ATAR would be possible/plausible? thanks!