Reproductive choice -- I'm positive, but I'm sad?
Photo: "Sunshine" acai bowl from earlier today with papaya, kiwi, strawberry, banana, granola, shredded coconut, and honey; I'm having leftovers now but they look gross now that they're half-melted and I'm sitting inside my dark apartment.
Hey! I'm 34, have no kids, I want no kids, I have no partner. I traditionally avoid serious partnerships with men because I fear them wanting children. It's not healthy, and it's barring me from good relationships with good men -- men who may not want children.
But that's a discussion for my therapist!
Posting here because I know I don't want kids.
I'm planning to make an appt to discuss tubal ligation with my OBGYN. I'm not scared.
But, I also am grieving the loss of a life that maybe I would have had, or wanted to have if I weren't so severely mentally ill.
I have bipolar disorder, CPTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and ADHD. I manage with meds and support from my friends and my mom. I work fulltime in mental health and am likely going to graduate school next year. I have incredible hobbies, incredible pets, and incredible autonomy and independence (god forbid anything happens to me medically or mentally!).
I know I want tubal litigation.
I'm excited -- excited to take a step toward controlling my health and closer toward being the woman I feel I'm meant to be.
But I'm a lil' sad.
Anyone else been in these shoes? Any kind, or practical advice? Thanks 😄