u/EerieEarworm

Had a heartbreak, unfortunately. But i am hoping to start fresh. Honestly i am hoping to move to Vancouver to start a whole new life with a clean slate. This is me poking around to see who is out there.

I would prefer to start as a friend. I dont wanna move too fast.

I want to start by saying that I havent had much of a social life and when i get there i want that to change. I want to start exploring and experiencing life and the world. I want to find that person who wants to collect records (or has records) and play them with me and talk music. I wanna know your favorite songs/ bands, your favorite food…. I wanna dance to songs like a silly goose while making some good food. I wanna know who your favorite superhero is. What class you play in d&d if you play. Would also like to mention i dont drink, smoke, or do weed… and drugs are a no go for me.

I just want fun, whimsy, and to know that the person i am looking to maybe share experiences with is willing to talk about things, communicate, be consistent, and treat me well. I haven’t had this. Ever. So i want to know what that feels like.

If you think you can be that friend who maybe eventually becomes something more, then i am a message away. I am still recovering from a heartbreak. And after everything, i want something real this time… I’m hoping he is out there.

About two years ago now I fell in love at first sight with a guy that I saw online. I noticed from the get go that there was always a lot of drama around this guy. And the moment we had started talking the drama built for no reason. I didnt involve myself at all… but It was mostly trust other girls fighting for him. And one of them even went out of their way to ruin my chances of talking to him, so we didn’t talk for quite a long time.

After that first initial thing, I really wanted to talk to him again, so I reached out to him on another Reddit account that I had made specifically to be a burner just to tell him how I felt, and my intention was to be done with it, but it led to us having a very long and great conversation and all I did was make me fall harder.

It really stinks because after months of talking to me, he just stopped talking and yes, I know I was a bit persistent at first and trying to get him to talk again, but then after that, I ignored him for a good couple of months. In fact, I had even blocked him a couple of times just to make myself clean the slate and try to get over him.

Recently, I started to comment on his post again, not in a way where it would insinuate my interest. I would just leave a random emoji or I would just say something kind. And then the day before yesterday, I literally just replied to a post of his publicly with a photo of a mountain telling him that I was feeling the mountain vibes too because he had posted a photo of a mountain.

I guess this broke the dam…. A girlfriend came and messaged me that I had no idea existed.. I had no idea who this person was, but she came in my Instagram inbox while I was on my hike. I didn’t even get the message until 24 hours later after I had already sent the photo of the mountain. But as soon as I saw that message, I also saw that he blocked me everywhere. Don’t worry. I just screen shotted and ignored it. I didn’t wanna give her a reply to show him.

I’m completely at a loss of what to do. I know the situation is beyond my control and I know the boundary has been set and I respect it but at the same time I just feel so hurt and heartbroken. The fact that this person came and messaged me out of nowhere like that tells me everything that I need to know about the person he chose… but at the same time I didn’t even do anything. He could’ve communicated with me, but he didn’t.

Honestly, half of me feels like sending him the screenshot. But I know that that isn’t going to help anything either. This is a brand new account that I made and I already blocked him because honestly, I don’t want him seeing me this pathetic…

So many questions going through my head right now, and I don’t really have any friends that I could talk to about this… I have more questions I want to ask, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask them here.

Should I go ahead and send the screenshot? I know I did the right thing by ignoring the message. but I feel like there’s a part of my heart that just can’t cope with the fact that he’s choosing someone who seems to be toxic… but it isnt my problem. It just stings. And i can use some advice.