I need help please!
Date night is tonight, and I can’t decide which of the two outfits I should wear. I would love your opinions/advice!
(I will be ironing the blue top if I go with that one 😅)
Also adding. I don’t know where we’re going, possibly dinner and a movie, but it’s supposed to be a surprise, and when asked if I should wear shorts or dress, he responded with “surprise me”.
TIA 🩷
I (34y.o female) have been dating my (39y.o almost 40y.o male) boyfriend going on 6 months. Pretty much the entire time we’ve been dating he has had a Snapchat. I didn’t initially have any problems with it, I don’t do Snapchat bc I honestly feel like I’m too old for it, but he would talk with his co-workers, nieces/nephews etc.
One day he opened a snap sitting next to me and it was a random woman. The photo wasn’t inappropriate, but it made me uncomfortable that he was snapping a random woman. I asked him about it and he told me it was a friends wife. Which I don’t understand why he’s snapping a friends wife, but whatever. I told him that it made me uncomfortable, and he just said ok and didn’t really say anything else about it.
Fast forward a couple of months his Snapchat would keep going off late at night, I ignored a lot, but one night it kept going off, he wouldn’t wake up to turn the volume off so I got the phone and decided to take a look. I know that this was an invasion of privacy, I probably shouldn’t have and I’m not one to normally go through someone’s phone, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on.
Lo and behold when opening the snap chat I find multiple conversations with several women, all sexual based including nudes sent back and fourth. I then proceeded to look at his texts and found 4 women there that he had been talking to, all sexually, talking about them needing to leave their boyfriends, etc. one of the women was his children’s grandmother….(she’s only in her 50s so not granny, but still their grandmother) and the conversations between them was wildly inappropriate. I was immediately heartbroken and decided to leave right then in the middle of the night. I wrote him a letter and left.
The next morning he was calling and texting me, profusely apologizing and begging for another chance. He said that he knows what he did was wrong and that he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me and earning back my trust. I decided to give him another chance. He blocked the people in his phone and then deleted Snapchat.
Fast forward almost a month, I find out he had downloaded Snapchat again… I only found out bc at that point I had made a Snapchat and I saw his snap score going up anytime I looked (he didn’t delete his account, just the app) I didn’t say anything to him, I just sent him a snap, of a selfie. I know it was probably passive aggressive, but it really pissed me off. Later that day we were texting and he told me that he had re-downloaded Snapchat to look for a certain picture. I brushed past it and just said oh okay, and asked if he found it. I knew that he knew what he did was wrong, and I didn’t feel the need to point it out in that moment.
Since then his snap score has consistently went up, I don’t check it everyday but when I have looked at it I can tell he’s snapping whoever it is a lot. At this point I don’t know what to do. We’re at the point in our relationship where he has expressed how much he loves me, I do things for his kids and am involved with his family and family functions. I really feel disrespected and this doesn’t help with his promise of earning my trust back, if anything it’s making it worse.
I need advice on what I should do, I’m at a loss. Part of me wants to walk away and just wash my hands, the other part truly does love him and his kids and it’s breaking my heart to act like nothing is wrong. Should I confront him or leave it alone?