Dilemma9
I grew up in a conservative middle-class family, but as I got older, I started looking into the lifestyle and mindset of people in developed countries. One thing I never understood was why some religious and cultural practices are followed so strictly today without questioning their relevance in modern times.
For example, in many religions, including Christianity and Islam, women covering their heads was common in the historical context of those societies. If you think about it rationally, it was largely connected to the culture and social norms of that era. So I often wondered why these customs are still treated as absolute rules today, especially when society has changed so much. I also found some conservative social rules about women confusing and difficult to relate to.
I’m saying all this because I never truly felt connected to the lifestyle and mentality that is common in Bangladesh. I was always more attracted to the way of life in Europe and other developed countries. I wanted more freedom of thought, individuality, and rational discussion. Fortunately, after finishing my HSC, I was able to move to Europe.
Another thing that affected me emotionally was seeing my childhood friends become extremely conservative over time. Many of them started blindly following religious speakers and influencers, like Ahmadullah, without questioning things rationally. Their mindset became more extreme, and eventually I had to distance myself from almost all of them because I no longer related to the way they thought.
I also had a girlfriend who was first a close friend. In the beginning, I felt she was rational and open-minded, which is one of the reasons we got into a relationship. But as time passed, she also became increasingly conservative, mainly because she wanted to please the people around her and fit into that social environment. Over time, I felt like she was no longer being true to herself, and eventually I ended the relationship. She was my first girlfriend, and so far, my last.
Sometimes I still feel sad thinking about how the friends I grew up with changed so much that I eventually had to cut ties with them. It feels strange and painful when people who were once such a big part of your life become completely different from the people you once knew.