The joys of packing an entire apartment by yourself
First time posting here. Going through a divorce has made me realize how alone I actually am.
Hey everyone, first-time poster here.
I’m currently going through a divorce, and honestly, one of the hardest parts has been realizing just how few people I actually have around me.
I’ve been packing up my belongings and taking everything to a storage unit, basically doing it all on my own. My parents have helped me once, and I genuinely appreciate that, but other than them, I really haven’t had much help from anyone.
I’ve lived in this area for about three years, so I understand that I haven’t had decades to build a huge friend group here. But it still hurts realizing that I don’t really have anyone nearby I can call and say, “Hey, could you give me a hand moving some boxes?” It’s been a really lonely experience.
What makes it harder is everything that happened during my marriage.
From my perspective, my ex-wife was mentally and emotionally abusive toward me throughout the relationship. I often felt manipulated, dismissed, and made to feel like my feelings didn’t matter. There were times where I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells and questioning myself.
And now, during the divorce, I feel like the narrative has completely flipped.
She has accused me of being a bully and of having abusive tendencies. I strongly disagree with those accusations, and one of the most painful parts is feeling like I’m being portrayed as the bad guy—the villain in the story—while the things I experienced from her are being ignored.
I’m not claiming I was a perfect husband. I know I made mistakes, and I’m willing to acknowledge the things I could have done better. But there’s a huge difference between admitting your mistakes and accepting a version of events that makes you out to be someone you don’t believe you were.
I also experienced what I perceived as narcissistic and emotionally abusive behavior from her, and trying to make sense of that while simultaneously being accused of being abusive myself has been incredibly confusing and painful.
And then there’s another part of this whole situation that I still have trouble wrapping my head around.
Shortly after we started the divorce process, she started dating the man who actually married us.
Yes, you read that correctly.
The man who officiated our wedding is now dating my soon-to-be ex-wife.
Maybe I’m just bitter or emotional because of everything going on, but personally, I find that incredibly strange. Part of me honestly wonders if something had already been going on before the divorce started, although I obviously can’t prove that.
Meanwhile, she has plenty of people around her helping her through everything.
I’m over here packing up nearly nine years of memories and moving everything into a storage unit by myself.
I’m not necessarily posting this because I expect anyone to fix my situation. I think I just needed somewhere to say it.
Divorce is already painful enough. But going through it while feeling isolated, being accused of things you don’t believe you did, and watching the person you spent nearly nine years with seemingly have a whole support system around them can make it feel so much worse.
I’m trying to keep moving forward. I’m trying to accept that this chapter of my life is ending, even though I never imagined it would end this way.
Right now, I’m just packing up the memories, trying to keep my head above water, and figuring out what the hell my life is supposed to look like afterward.
It’s a lonely feeling.