r/RantingZone

i mean at some point you feel like okay, this friendship has run its course and you should let them go. cause the more they’re in your life the more uncomfortable it gets. that’s why i cut most my friends off since i didn’t feel we’re close anymore. some of them i just never felt comfortable next to, and i didn’t like them either. some of them didn’t reciprocate my feelings and effort i put into our friendship. the others were just so distant and one of them barely replied back when i said happy birthday to her and idk. maybe i make a big deal outta everything but it just didn’t feel right to keep them in my life as things were getting ugly. i feel like my behaviors are due to the fact that i am mentally struggling and i can’t even have a fixed image of myself, let alone of other people. so tell me i am not the only one who feels this way..

That’s it I’ve had it.

I’ve had it with friends that don’t show up.

I’ve had it with friends that gaslight.

I’ve had it with communities gaslighting and not showing up.

I’ve had it with family not showing up.

I’ve absolutely had it with family gaslighting me.

I’ve had it with people NOT showing their fucking humanity and basic human empathy for me.

I know I’m cursed I fucking know it. I can feel my entire human experience being filtered through some negative oppressive lens and I’ve HAD IT.

I just wanted to vent, heck I don’t even give a shit for the first time in my life if no one shows support in this post.

Just fuck this world. It would be a fucking miracle if anyone blinked if I disappeared off the face of the earth.

Fuck this!

I have a lifelong history of depression and I’m on the Autism Spectrum.

I was a member of a subreddit where women post pictures of themselves and receive support.
I’m a man, but I made a request to be a member about a year ago, and they allowed me to join, knowing I was a male. A few days ago, I commented on a woman’s picture, and said how if I saw her walking down the street, I’d turn my head to look longer, because she’s attractive.

When I posted this, I 100% thought it’d be taken as a nice, sweet compliment and make the woman’s day. In my mind I was like “I’m happy today. I’ll spread the positive vibes and makes someone’s day.”

Well, immediately, that woman, and other women that viewed my post, just HATED it. I got lots of thumbs down, VERY rudely criticized for being a man making posts on there, was immediately banned, and they now have banned men entirely on there.

I do understand that the comment could be misunderstood, but the vitriol I got just makes no sense whatsoever.

I’m just really struggling mentally and emotionally with this. I’ve never in my life given a compliment and had someone actually be rude in response. It just shattered my faith in humanity. I’ve cried, it’s made me nauseous, it makes me want to give up on having any kind of social interactions with strangers, especially with women. Just the idea that someone could hold such vitriolic hate for me for no logical reason.

I tell my friends, but they just say “Who cares, stay off the internet, don’t worry about.” But, I can’t get over the pain, and it’s been several days. Looking for some guidance and support, please.

Like, lemme give you a quick summary of what’s going on. I’ve been in three relationships, and all of them were so random. I didn’t even like these guys; they didn’t have any qualities that would make me fall in love with them or even genuinely like them. Yet somehow, I chose these freaks as my partners, and they all ended up hurting and abusing me, while dismissing what they did.
The previous one was even worse than the rest. He made me do things I didn’t want to do, and he was abusive toward me both physically and emotionally.
I’m in a safe place now, and I’ve been to therapy. I’m also taking my meds to help me cope with distress and mood swings. So, idk, I still have regrets about the mistakes I made. I wish I had known the things I know now back then. Maybe then I would have stood up for myself and not let any of those things happen.
I’m not okay, tbh.