r/RantsOfReddit

[META] Helping or Hurting u/idaho4uncensored

I'm genuinely shocked and disappointed by the amount of hostility I've seen directed toward the Goncalves family.

Regardless of what anyone believes about the case, I think there's a point where we should be able to recognise that this is a grieving family who lost their daughter in horrific circumstances.

I don't understand why some people seem so hostile toward them, particularly when Kristi responded to comments by saying that she hoped Bryan would come for their family if he were ever released.

People are entitled to disagree with her statement, but I think there's a huge difference between disagreeing with something someone says and actively targeting or attacking a grieving family.

If we're going to discuss this case, why can't we do it without turning the Goncalves family into another target?

And if people genuinely believe Bryan is innocent, why would the possibility of him being released and coming to their home be treated as something offensive for the family to be concerned about?

I'm not asking everyone to agree with the Goncalves family. I'm asking whether we can have a little perspective and remember that these are real people dealing with an unimaginable loss.

This is a throwaway account and I need to rant.
This is about moving out.

I've been needing to move out for months now and decided to bite the bullet this summer (2026) and do it.
It would not matter how it would happen but I will move.
That is for many reasons but the main one is mental health. It's very bad right now and I feel like I am losing grip each passing day.

So (July 2026), I was looking at places in the Chicagoland area, towards the suburbs bc this is where I live and work; when my coworker of 2 years texts me and asks me if I would be interested in moving in with her and her boyfriend. They were also looking at the same time and same area. They've ben together for 4 years and were thinking about moving forward with their relationship by living together.

For context, I am 26 and they are 25. Ages in 2026.

At first, I did not want to because I already started my search and had a realtor I was working with but I figured that saving some money would be a good idea in this day and age. So I accepted and switched my search from studio/1bed to 2-3 bedrooms, depending on rent.

Comes end of July, she tells me that her boyfriend thinks it's too early to move in August - we had a week left and they would use August to save a bit more as well. I am upset because I evidently was looking forward to this and move. But again, I caved and thought about it. Sure August would be awesome to save a bit more and A September move in might be a bit cheaper due to summer being at its end.

Now comes August. Everything is moving seemingly swift. Looking for places, viewing them, etc.
Then BOOM... on August 8th, after viewing a place I was eyeing and picking up an application, my friend calls me crying: her boyfriend was upset and asks her for space. He doesn't want to breakup but he is not feeling well and needs space from everyone, including her. Very sad indeed. I comforted her, as a friend should. Spoke to her and we decided to move forward with the application of the place I visited and apply with only the both of us. I was excited because we pre-qualified.

Then on Sunday, she texts me asking me what kind of questions I ask landlords. I tell her and calls to get a clear understanding of why she is still looking for other places.
Sure I was overthinking the decision a bit but only because I was excited and stressed at the same time. I knew that I would make it work anyway.

She tells me that she is also overthinking it and if her boyfriend comes back, how is she going to tell him that she signed a lease without him? Understandable. And the landlord wants every adult on the lease so we would have to make an application for him as well and apply.

And then we talk about the situation again. After asking a few questions, she tells me that she doesn't see herself moving without him... Could be understandable. But not when it's the second time I am in the crossfire of someone else's decision.

So I am back at square one. AKA trying to find an apartment for myself. Do I regret believing her? Yes. I feel like she sees the world in rose colored glasses. What if he doesn't come back? What's gonna happen? That has nothing to do with me but I find it very dependent-like that she just puts her life on pause waiting for him to make a decision. And also that she did not want to move but since it's with him, "sure". So she just lets him lead her without making an opinion herself...

Anyway.

Now that I am back at square one, either I tell the new landlord that I will not take the apartment and look for something decent in 3 weeks, or I suck it up and get the apartment anyway. I can't afford it by myself to be honest but I feel like I got left in the middle of the road and now I have to figure out things because people cannot make up their mind like adults.

I think that I will have to also get a second job anyway because things are hard and keep my distance. Turns out, you can't trust anyone...

First time posting here. Going through a divorce has made me realize how alone I actually am.
Hey everyone, first-time poster here.
I’m currently going through a divorce, and honestly, one of the hardest parts has been realizing just how few people I actually have around me.
I’ve been packing up my belongings and taking everything to a storage unit, basically doing it all on my own. My parents have helped me once, and I genuinely appreciate that, but other than them, I really haven’t had much help from anyone.
I’ve lived in this area for about three years, so I understand that I haven’t had decades to build a huge friend group here. But it still hurts realizing that I don’t really have anyone nearby I can call and say, “Hey, could you give me a hand moving some boxes?” It’s been a really lonely experience.
What makes it harder is everything that happened during my marriage.
From my perspective, my ex-wife was mentally and emotionally abusive toward me throughout the relationship. I often felt manipulated, dismissed, and made to feel like my feelings didn’t matter. There were times where I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells and questioning myself.
And now, during the divorce, I feel like the narrative has completely flipped.
She has accused me of being a bully and of having abusive tendencies. I strongly disagree with those accusations, and one of the most painful parts is feeling like I’m being portrayed as the bad guy—the villain in the story—while the things I experienced from her are being ignored.
I’m not claiming I was a perfect husband. I know I made mistakes, and I’m willing to acknowledge the things I could have done better. But there’s a huge difference between admitting your mistakes and accepting a version of events that makes you out to be someone you don’t believe you were.
I also experienced what I perceived as narcissistic and emotionally abusive behavior from her, and trying to make sense of that while simultaneously being accused of being abusive myself has been incredibly confusing and painful.
And then there’s another part of this whole situation that I still have trouble wrapping my head around.
Shortly after we started the divorce process, she started dating the man who actually married us.
Yes, you read that correctly.
The man who officiated our wedding is now dating my soon-to-be ex-wife.
Maybe I’m just bitter or emotional because of everything going on, but personally, I find that incredibly strange. Part of me honestly wonders if something had already been going on before the divorce started, although I obviously can’t prove that.
Meanwhile, she has plenty of people around her helping her through everything.
I’m over here packing up nearly nine years of memories and moving everything into a storage unit by myself.
I’m not necessarily posting this because I expect anyone to fix my situation. I think I just needed somewhere to say it.
Divorce is already painful enough. But going through it while feeling isolated, being accused of things you don’t believe you did, and watching the person you spent nearly nine years with seemingly have a whole support system around them can make it feel so much worse.
I’m trying to keep moving forward. I’m trying to accept that this chapter of my life is ending, even though I never imagined it would end this way.
Right now, I’m just packing up the memories, trying to keep my head above water, and figuring out what the hell my life is supposed to look like afterward.
It’s a lonely feeling.