I am upset - moving out story
This is a throwaway account and I need to rant.
This is about moving out.
I've been needing to move out for months now and decided to bite the bullet this summer (2026) and do it.
It would not matter how it would happen but I will move.
That is for many reasons but the main one is mental health. It's very bad right now and I feel like I am losing grip each passing day.
So (July 2026), I was looking at places in the Chicagoland area, towards the suburbs bc this is where I live and work; when my coworker of 2 years texts me and asks me if I would be interested in moving in with her and her boyfriend. They were also looking at the same time and same area. They've ben together for 4 years and were thinking about moving forward with their relationship by living together.
For context, I am 26 and they are 25. Ages in 2026.
At first, I did not want to because I already started my search and had a realtor I was working with but I figured that saving some money would be a good idea in this day and age. So I accepted and switched my search from studio/1bed to 2-3 bedrooms, depending on rent.
Comes end of July, she tells me that her boyfriend thinks it's too early to move in August - we had a week left and they would use August to save a bit more as well. I am upset because I evidently was looking forward to this and move. But again, I caved and thought about it. Sure August would be awesome to save a bit more and A September move in might be a bit cheaper due to summer being at its end.
Now comes August. Everything is moving seemingly swift. Looking for places, viewing them, etc.
Then BOOM... on August 8th, after viewing a place I was eyeing and picking up an application, my friend calls me crying: her boyfriend was upset and asks her for space. He doesn't want to breakup but he is not feeling well and needs space from everyone, including her. Very sad indeed. I comforted her, as a friend should. Spoke to her and we decided to move forward with the application of the place I visited and apply with only the both of us. I was excited because we pre-qualified.
Then on Sunday, she texts me asking me what kind of questions I ask landlords. I tell her and calls to get a clear understanding of why she is still looking for other places.
Sure I was overthinking the decision a bit but only because I was excited and stressed at the same time. I knew that I would make it work anyway.
She tells me that she is also overthinking it and if her boyfriend comes back, how is she going to tell him that she signed a lease without him? Understandable. And the landlord wants every adult on the lease so we would have to make an application for him as well and apply.
And then we talk about the situation again. After asking a few questions, she tells me that she doesn't see herself moving without him... Could be understandable. But not when it's the second time I am in the crossfire of someone else's decision.
So I am back at square one. AKA trying to find an apartment for myself. Do I regret believing her? Yes. I feel like she sees the world in rose colored glasses. What if he doesn't come back? What's gonna happen? That has nothing to do with me but I find it very dependent-like that she just puts her life on pause waiting for him to make a decision. And also that she did not want to move but since it's with him, "sure". So she just lets him lead her without making an opinion herself...
Anyway.
Now that I am back at square one, either I tell the new landlord that I will not take the apartment and look for something decent in 3 weeks, or I suck it up and get the apartment anyway. I can't afford it by myself to be honest but I feel like I got left in the middle of the road and now I have to figure out things because people cannot make up their mind like adults.
I think that I will have to also get a second job anyway because things are hard and keep my distance. Turns out, you can't trust anyone...