u/Einsamjager

M29, just wondering how would therapy benefit me, what can a therapist tell me which I don't already know?

I know I'm depressed

I know the reason for my depression

I know what I'm supposed to do to fix my depression

I probably need meds to stay sane

so in this case, what does a 1hr therapy session per week for a month bring to the table? what is a typical therapy session like, besides being an interview and picking my brain out for solutions for me to fix my issues?

I am not willing to commit such a large sum of money for something which might not be that beneficial for me.

M29, had not felt true happiness for the longest time. Life just feels like a never ending washing machine, rinse and repeat every single week. There isn't anything in life for me to look forward to. Sometimes I get extremely jealous when looking at others, enjoying happiness with their SO, going for multiple week-long vacations around the world, enjoying spending money on their hobbies/outings without a care in the world. It just feels unfair that I wouldn't be able to enjoy life as much as others can. A tiny part of my mind just wouldn't mind if my life were to end tomorrow.

I have an Okay job, it's cushy, pay is decent, but not significant enough to enjoy material happiness. Not much to look forward to at work, except to do routine tasks everyday, as I'm just another tiny cog in the machine.

Broken up with GF a few months back due to incompatibility. We had fun together, and weekends couldn't come sooner when we were together. But these feelings were fleeting when cracks in our relationships started showing, and weekends suddenly seemed like another chore.

Used to have a bunch of close friends from Uni where we used to play video games and hangout together, but time just slowly drifted us apart. Work got in the way, they found their SO, life does life things. it's probably been a year or two since I had talked to any of my uni friends.

Tried going to several meetups around KL, but everything seems superficial. Talks just devolve to "what do you work as", "where did you travel for vacation", "what are some good restaurants around for recommendation", "what are your hobbies". Every conversation I had with strangers just feels repetitive, and it's just regurgitating the same stories and lines which I had already done so for the 100th time.

I do have some hobbies, gardening, playing guitar, video games, but had not had any mood to do any of my hobbies as of late. My plants were neglected and had started to die. Hadn't touched the guitar in years, and I'd probably need to relearn all the songs I used to play in the past. Spent roughly 10k to what I thought to be my dream PC setup last year, only to have my PC be underutilized. Once again, not feeling any happiness from saving up and assembling my PC, or from playing any AAA games which I originally thought I was excited about. Playing video games just feels like a chore.

Recently decided to hit the gym, which was the only thing that I found that keeps these depressing thoughts out of my head, only for them to return the next day. I just hope that progress from gym is sustainable enough to keep my sanity in check for some time.

Nothing in life seems joyful, I don't feel any purpose in life besides existing. There isn't anything to look forward to.

Does anyone else also feel like there is nothing in life to look forward to?