What if I have no one?
Most research and advice would point to us spending more time with loved ones, etc.
My problem isn’t not having time, but having no one.
I’m almost 40. Lost my parents relatively young, by early 20s. Been on my own for a while now. Siblings non existent.
Been able to get through much of the last 15-20 years by burying myself with work. It gave me a bit of a purpose, even though I was doing work I didn’t love. Along with a heartbreak around 2 years ago, I took a break from work. Business still goes on, I still made a bit of money, but largely not spending time on it.
I somehow don’t really have that many friends. Either our lives are on very different paths, or they’re somewhat busy with adult commitments. I often reach out but I do hope they reach out to me too, and many times they don’t.
I’m fairly secure financially, going through IVF now to preserve fertility (not going so well), rebuilding some things in my business (to regain some sense of purpose and value in this world), and traveling the world.
But I’m still searching for a partner in life, to have a family with. I have so much to offer. Fairly good looking, pretty funny and smart according to most people, financially quite set (I can provide, we can live around the world, I don’t mind continuing to build and run ventures from around the world…)
Why has it been so hard? Maybe it’s the queer bit that’s severely limited my numbers. The ones I got to talk to are either a little too boring, or they’re demanding a little too much without bringing as much to the table (guessing they’re using general heteronormative feminine standards, but it’s not as if I have cismale privileges or expect them to be giving up earning potential to become a childbearing wife.)
My little bit of consolation is that I know, when the right person comes along, I’ll be truly ready, more so than ever.