u/Electronic_Delay_925

I love my girlfriend, she's the greatest thing in my life and I don't want to be without her.

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We've only been dating for a bit under 9 months now, we have been obsessed with each other and started renting a place together a couple months ago.

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We haven't had many problems in our relationship, and the ones we had (like her being lazy) get better when we talk about them.

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BUT, there is one massive problem that we have had over and over and over again. We have talked about it calmly, fought over it, and everything in between:

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She does not or can not put any real effort into initiating sex. I have asked her so so many times to please try to come on to me in any exciting or interesting way, but she just won't. 99% of the time I initiate, and I make sure to do foreplay and generally make her come before I get myself off. And even then, I'm the only one doing anything. She might do a blowjob for a bit, maybe get on top if I ask her for a second before laying down again, but mostly I'm topping the whole time every time.

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If she does initiate it's always in one of two ways:

- We are laying down in bed for the night and she starts playing with me using her hands, maybe her mouth after a bit, until I do the work or

- She pushes her hips into me until I do the work.

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It's gotten boring for me, I want to feel craved and have something exciting before bed.

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There's no excitement from her at all. So teasing photos, no sexy coming on to me, no outfits/lingerie. If I'm not doing the work, it's not happening.

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I'm not even angry or fighting for change any more, I'm just completely apathetic. And I can already feel it changing how I feel about her, making me feel apathetic.

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I don't want to feel this way but something about the dead bedroom leaches out to the whole relationship.

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We haven't done anything in about a week, starting after the most recent time I talked to her about needing more. She tried once since then, yesterday, in the same way after we lay down for bed. I just asked her to stop a couple times because I'm not interested in that initiation.

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Is there any way to fix this? It's be a reocurring issue the whole time we've been together, and I've asked and discussed it in every possible way I can imagine. She wants to get married, and soon, but I know this issue must be fixed first. I love her dearly and I don't want just sex to make us fall apart.

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What specific way of asking for excitement and effort has worked for you?

New house has a 4 prong outlet, so I needed to change it out.

Here are the steps I took:

- Removed 3 prong cord from dryer.

- Unscrewed the white (middle) cables nut and took off the L bracket connecting it to the body.

- Removed the little green clip on the body and put electrical tape over it to disconnect it.

- Put White to White, Red to Blue, and Black to Black

- HERE is where I'm unsure: I put the new green wire in the spot where the L bracket connected the white bolt to the body.

I just don't want to shock myself to death or burn my first rental down. Thank you for any advice.