u/Elegant_Command9304

Hi 30M here and I am just sharing my 3 AM thoughts. Tbh life is pretty shitty now a days or at least it has been for the last 6-7 years at least. But its fine, adulting has never been easy. Loneliness, however, has been a completely different ball game. I have had some good friends (still have a few) and I have been perpetually single for all my life. All those friendships were never really deep enough to not make me feel alone. And the worst part is, I never got used to it. I changed cities and countries, thought that starting in a completely new place would give me new opportunities to make friends and probably meet someone worth spending my life with. Yeah nothing like that happened. You know you have this feeling of missing out when all your friends are getting married and having kids and thinking of settling down. I don't know how to feel better, honestly. I tried quite a few things to feel less lonely, like working out and cooking etc but nope. Going out to clubs or social gatherings aren't particularly my strong suit. Its a very strange and helpless situation.

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I have tried my fair share of things starting from maintaining friendships, trying to find the love of my life, staying in touch with people and trying to help them in whatever way I can. But in the end, I am always left alone. People leave and thats the truth. Sitting alone at home, depressed and lonely, teaches you a lot of things. I guess there are always people like me who will be the ones left out, only remembered when needed and never cared for. I don't remember when was the last time someone asked me how I was and I honestly said that I am doing shitty.