My dad reacts in a very strange way that both me and my brother have noticed. He gets this extremely concerned and stressed look on his face while trying to avoid the conversation. Any response we recieve from him is just straight up denial, deflection and minimizing the problem.
"You're not depressed you are just sad" he says while I have been going in and out from therapy for these past 5 years. Yeah it just sounds like regular sadness that has been going on for 5 years...
It has gotten to a point where I just straight up lie to him all the time. Like if he asks about me I always say I am good even though I am the complete opposite and I am supposed to perform for him all the time that I am good. If I am not he will just panic and pace around the room going "I don't understand how can my kid overreact this way over something this minor and why can't I have a perfect family where nobody ever stumbles upon bad experiences ever. FUCK FUCK WHY CAN'T IT BE THIS WAY WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT HAVE I FAILED IN. THIS IS MY FAULT OMG WHY ARE MY KIDS THIS WAY. WHY CAN'T WE BE PERFECTLY FINE AT ALL TIME!!??". And then we just have to lie to him again and convince him we're actually fine for his sake. It's just so weird to deal with. It almost feels like hes guilt tripping someone to lie for him and I don't understand how an almost 60 year adult can be so oblivious to human experiences. That he wants to be lied to instead of being told the truth.
My mom on the other hand just tell me to man up and stop being a *****. She will always tell me stories about how she always had it worse.