u/Elle_lov3

I’m pretty sure I’m in love with my guy best friend and I have no idea what to do with that.

I (21F) have a guy best friend (23M) — I’ll call him Tory. We haven’t actually known each other that long, only a few months, but somehow he’s become the most important person in my life. We talk every single day, call constantly, text all day… it just feels easy in a way I’ve never had with anyone before.

The problem is I caught feelings. Bad.

And I can’t do anything about it. For one, we’ve kind of already friend-zoned each other (long story involving me being drunk and saying dumb things). And two, he’s genuinely the best friend I’ve ever had and I’m terrified of ruining that.

We’re both on the spectrum, so we connect in a way that’s hard to explain. We talk a lot about how difficult relationships can be, and I think somewhere in all of that, my feelings just… grew. He understands me in a way no one else really has.

Everyone around me keeps saying he probably likes me too, but I really don’t think he does. He just got out of a serious relationship not that long ago, and I think I’m just the person he feels safe with while he’s healing. I’m the one he vents to, the one telling him everything he’s feeling is normal.

But then he does things that mess with my head.

I invited him to my birthday, and it was the first time we met in person. He went out of his way to match his outfit to mine perfectly, and he wrote me a handwritten card in cursive with a whole poem in it.

And I mean an actual poem, not just “happy birthday lol.” Like lines about how our time together “feels like years in moments shared” and how our connection is “growing more each day.”

And he calls me “princess” and “cheesecake,” which honestly does not help my situation at all.

He’s always supportive, always kind, always there. And I’ve never felt like this before.

Even my mom noticed and said she’s never seen me act like this about anyone, and I just keep denying it and saying we’re “just friends,” which feels like a lie at this point.

So yeah. This is basically just a rant because I can’t actually say out loud that I’m in love with him.

Update: Well… turns out I wasn’t crazy.

He admitted he liked me and told me he’s been stuck in this cycle of “I like you but I’m scared of losing the friendship,” said he’d date me if he was in a better headspace, and kept saying our friendship meant too much to risk. Which obviously made everything even more confusing because that’s basically emotional whiplash with a side of hope.

At the same time, he was also talking to another girl, went on a “date” with her (which included helping her move and sleeping in the same bed), and then posted a very poetic soft launch type post about lying beside someone who made life feel peaceful. So yeah. That was… clarifying.

I realized I was stuck in this weird inbetween where I was emotionally giving relationship-level energy to someone who wasn’t actually choosing me. It started feeling less like friendship and more like I was an emotional placeholder close enough to keep, but never clear enough to claim.

So I finally told him I needed space and boundaries. I asked him to stop mentioning liking me or anything beyond friendship because for my own sanity, this has to stay strictly friends. I told him I can’t keep feeling like I’m stuck in something unclear or like I’m a placeholder.

The truth is, I don’t even know if we can still be friends after this. As much as I care about him, I need to move on, and I’m not sure I can do that while staying this close to someone I loved and hoped for. Sometimes distance isn’t punishment, it’s just the only way to let go.

Not the happy ending I was hoping for, but I guess that’s life. Sometimes people can care about you deeply and still not choose you, and sometimes loving someone means accepting that they were a lesson, not your person.

I’m pretty sure I’m in love with my guy best friend and I have no idea what to do with that.

I (21F) have a guy best friend (23M) — I’ll call him Tory. We haven’t actually known each other that long, only a few months, but somehow he’s become the most important person in my life. We talk every single day, call constantly, text all day… it just feels easy in a way I’ve never had with anyone before.

The problem is I caught feelings. Bad.

And I can’t do anything about it. For one, we’ve kind of already friend-zoned each other (long story involving me being drunk and saying dumb things). And two, he’s genuinely the best friend I’ve ever had and I’m terrified of ruining that.

We’re both on the spectrum, so we connect in a way that’s hard to explain. We talk a lot about how difficult relationships can be, and I think somewhere in all of that, my feelings just… grew. He understands me in a way no one else really has.

Everyone around me keeps saying he probably likes me too, but I really don’t think he does. He just got out of a serious relationship not that long ago, and I think I’m just the person he feels safe with while he’s healing. I’m the one he vents to, the one telling him everything he’s feeling is normal.

But then he does things that mess with my head.

I invited him to my birthday, and it was the first time we met in person. He went out of his way to match his outfit to mine perfectly, and he wrote me a handwritten card in cursive with a whole poem in it.

And I mean an actual poem, not just “happy birthday lol.” Like lines about how our time together “feels like years in moments shared” and how our connection is “growing more each day.”

And he calls me “princess” and “cheesecake,” which honestly does not help my situation at all.

He’s always supportive, always kind, always there. And I’ve never felt like this before.

Even my mom noticed and said she’s never seen me act like this about anyone, and I just keep denying it and saying we’re “just friends,” which feels like a lie at this point.

So yeah. This is basically just a rant because I can’t actually say out loud that I’m in love with him.

Update: Well… turns out I wasn’t crazy.

He admitted he liked me and told me he’s been stuck in this cycle of “I like you but I’m scared of losing the friendship,” said he’d date me if he was in a better headspace, and kept saying our friendship meant too much to risk. Which obviously made everything even more confusing because that’s basically emotional whiplash with a side of hope.

At the same time, he was also talking to another girl, went on a “date” with her (which included helping her move and sleeping in the same bed), and then posted a very poetic soft launch type post about lying beside someone who made life feel peaceful. So yeah. That was… clarifying.

I realized I was stuck in this weird inbetween where I was emotionally giving relationship-level energy to someone who wasn’t actually choosing me. It started feeling less like friendship and more like I was an emotional placeholder close enough to keep, but never clear enough to claim.

So I finally told him I needed space and boundaries. I asked him to stop mentioning liking me or anything beyond friendship because for my own sanity, this has to stay strictly friends. I told him I can’t keep feeling like I’m stuck in something unclear or like I’m a placeholder.

The truth is, I don’t even know if we can still be friends after this. As much as I care about him, I need to move on, and I’m not sure I can do that while staying this close to someone I loved and hoped for. Sometimes distance isn’t punishment, it’s just the only way to let go.

Not the happy ending I was hoping for, but I guess that’s life. Sometimes people can care about you deeply and still not choose you, and sometimes loving someone means accepting that they were a lesson, not your person.