Please help
Hi everyone,
I’m trying to make sense of a loop I’ve been stuck in for a long time.
Looking back, the roots were always there since childhood. I could never sit still at a desk to study, I had to pace around the entire apartment with a book in my hand just to get my brain to focus. But after adolescence, and especially after COVID-19/lockdowns, things escalated into a completely unmanageable pattern.
My brain operates in constant hyper-active/hunter mode. I get hit with panic-like urges: "I need to capture this thought right now or it's gone forever." I notice every minor detail in my daily environment and feel an intense need to research it, write about it, or turn it into a project. But the moment I try to outline it, I jump to the next idea. Nothing ever gets finished or reaches true depth; it just turns into a paralyzing mental bottleneck.
This has metastasized into severe digital hoarding:
Over 100,000 unorganized screenshots and thousands of saved posts across platforms.
Hoarded folders of courses, topics, and media going back years that I've never opened again.
A constant search for "lost videos" or old thoughts, driven by a dopamine rush whenever I accidentally stumble upon something after months.
When I’m outside at university or work, my mind passively collects observations. But the second I walk into my room and pick up my phone, it feels like a dam breaks. The noise is so overwhelming that it shuts down my basic daily functions and productivity.
I’m really struggling to figure out what this is. Is this classic ADHD (hyperfixation, executive dysfunction, the need for kinesthetic movement), or just a severe dopamine trap engineered by technology and modern digital habits?
Has anyone with a similar background managed to break this constant need to hoard thoughts and information? How do you force a "full stop" on your brain when the panic of losing an idea hits?
Any insights or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.