u/Elsa__22

Hi, I’m looking for insight from people who understand dreams, psychology or spirituality.

My grandfather passed away in 2017, and for years I’ve had occasional dreams about him. Recently, they’ve become more noticeable. The dreams are always very short and normal, like him sitting and talking, watching TV with my baby cousin, or me joking with him near a temple. Nothing emotional or scary happens.

What confuses me is that we were not very emotionally close. I cared about him, but I didn’t grieve very deeply when he passed away, and growing up I honestly didn’t even like him that much because he was often angry and arrogant.

So why would someone I wasn’t deeply attached to keep appearing in my dreams after so many years? Are recurring dreams like this usually just random memory processing, or can they have some psychological or spiritual meaning?

Hi, I’m looking for insight from people who understand dreams, psychology or spirituality.

My grandfather passed away in 2017, and for years I’ve had occasional dreams about him. Recently, they’ve become more noticeable. The dreams are always very short and normal, like him sitting and talking, watching TV with my baby cousin, or me joking with him near a temple. Nothing emotional or scary happens.

What confuses me is that we were not very emotionally close. I cared about him, but I didn’t grieve very deeply when he passed away, and growing up I honestly didn’t even like him that much because he was often angry and arrogant.

So why would someone I wasn’t deeply attached to keep appearing in my dreams after so many years? Are recurring dreams like this usually just random memory processing, or can they have some psychological or spiritual meaning?

Hi, I’m looking for insight from people who understand dreams, psychology or spirituality.

My grandfather passed away in 2017, and for years I’ve had occasional dreams about him. Recently, they’ve become more noticeable. The dreams are always very short and normal, like him sitting and talking, watching TV with my baby cousin, or me joking with him near a temple. Nothing emotional or scary happens.

What confuses me is that we were not very emotionally close. I cared about him, but I didn’t grieve very deeply when he passed away, and growing up I honestly didn’t even like him that much because he was often angry and arrogant.

So why would someone I wasn’t deeply attached to keep appearing in my dreams after so many years? Are recurring dreams like this usually just random memory processing, or can they have some psychological or spiritual meaning?

One day I was out of town for just one day, and my boyfriend didn’t even ask if I reached safely or how things were going. He barely replied to my texts the whole day. It was a Sunday, and he spent the entire day at his flat playing games.

The next day when I came back, I asked him how his day was and whether he missed me. He said he was actually really happy because he got to play games all day without interruption, and that he didn’t miss me at all because when I’m around he can’t play properly.

I genuinely felt happy that he enjoyed his day, but at the same time I felt hurt because I had missed him badly. I had been texting him desperately all day, waiting for his replies.

Later, during my luteal phase, I was sitting alone in his room thinking about everything and suddenly started crying really badly. He came home early from work that day and saw me crying. When he asked what happened, I told him:

“You didn’t even miss me. I was texting you all day and you didn’t even care whether I reached safely or how I was doing.”

He replied, “What could’ve happened to you? I knew you went by Uber. And yes, I didn’t miss you because I was happy playing games all day.”

I told him that wasn’t the point. I explained how difficult my trip actually was. I couldn’t get an Uber for 2 hours, I was stuck on the roadside trying to explain my route to a new driver, no rides were accepting, and cabs were getting too expensive. I was literally about to cry but somehow managed everything alone.

He then said, “You should’ve told me. I could’ve booked a cab for you.”

And I said, “I don’t want you to solve things for me. I’m independent and I want confidence in handling things myself. I just wanted emotional support. Even one text asking if I got there safely or if I found a ride would’ve meant so much to me.”

But instead of understanding, he got frustrated and kept saying he didn’t know what I wanted from him or how to deal with me. Then he suddenly brought up how I had once said maybe we should separate, and he said maybe I was right and that I should leave him and break up with him.

That completely broke me and I cried even more. Then he said, “I can’t see you when you are leaving, so I’m going to a coffee shop.”

At that point I was shocked because all I wanted was comfort and reassurance. The argument repeated again, and again he talked about leaving. Finally I told him to just sit beside me and don't talk about break up because I just needed him there. I hugged him and cried for a long time.

Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t just leave that day. Normally my self-respect would never let me stay after someone tried to walk away from me while I was emotionally vulnerable. But I stayed because I loved him.

A week later I texted him saying:

“You didn’t even want to stay with me that day, and still I stayed. My self-respect would never normally allow that, but I stayed because I needed you.”

And his reply was:

“Chill, it was nothing like that. I even forgot what we were arguing about.”

That hurt even more.

How do you “forget” a moment where your partner felt abandoned and the relationship almost broke? I still remember every word because it hurt that deeply.

What hurts the most is that all I wanted that day was love, reassurance, and emotional presence. That’s it.