u/ElviraAlberta

I just left for a work trip and my two daughters wanted to prepare dinner. They had some mistakes, understably but spouse got upset instead of working and helping them figure it out. 11 y/o daughter upset. Then today same daughter was to be driven to a practice. Husband asked what time, daughter said so-and-so time and walked away. Husband lost it and got mad.

What do I do? I understand my husband should be the mature one here but it’s affecting their relationship and my daughter has been crying the whole afternoon.

My mom has a kind soul but asks me and my siblings to fund it.

Examples:
- We were always reminded when our grandma’s (her mom) birthday was coming up, and my mom would ask how much me and my siblings wanted to send to Grandma.

- Last time we visited Grandma, she asked “Oh do you have anything for your aunts, uncles and cousins that are coming?” I said “Nope, I only have stuff for Grandma.” Right before we left she said “You have some chocolate bars in the fridge, can I ask for a few to give to them?” I didn’t want to oppose anymore so I just said sure. The pathetic thing - I saw her hand those cheap $1 Walmart chocolate bar to a cousin who has her own bake shop and a supply room full of Biscoff bottles (I really did see her shop’s supply room!)

- When her sibling passed, me and my siblings pooled money to help out. Mind you, that sibling had his own adult kid.

- She would have annual trips with her friends, and use the term “solicit” when talking to us about it.

- She doesn’t have medical coverage, but would always be jealous of her friends who do have it. We told her we will reimburse her for out of pocket medical spend. I know I said we will help, but sometimes I only get messages from her asking to be reimbursed without any “hi, how are you” pleasantries.

- Just yesterday an aunt passed. She messaged me saying she is thinking of helping the cousin (daughter of said aunt) and if my siblings & I could talk about it.

What is going on? She is somehow making it an obligation to fund her charitable acts.