u/Embarrassed_Roll_728

I have two kids, both in elementary school. I feel like I missed out on a lot of moments having them so close together and essentially being a single parent with a partner that was never home. Things were hectic and exhausting but wonderful. I do wish I slowed down more to just take in the small moments. Even struggling to do it by myself, I loved being a mom. I miss everything about having a baby, even the massive blowouts, snot, teethings, all of it.

I’ve been wanting another baby for about two years now and my biological clock is quickly ticking away. I keep thinking eventually that this desire will go away but it seems to get stronger. I am “advanced maternal age” and have about an 11 year age gap from my oldest to the hypothetical youngest.

My kids are always asking for another sibling but I’m aware they have no idea what that entails and how their lives would change.

Has anyone in this group had a child later in your child bearing years?

If your kids have a large age gap, did it negatively impact the older one?

If you didn’t have another child but wanted one, did the strong urge ever go away?

Pregnancy was really hard on my body, but doable. I know it would increase my migraines temporarily. How do you get rid of this strong pull towards wanting another? I also worry about bringing another human into this broken world and feel it would be selfish to do so. Thoughts? Stories? Advice?

Hello,

I was hoping to hear your stories/ stories about your partners and working with chronic migraines. I’ve had migraines since I was a young kid. I recently went on a 12 week leave for my migraines. While I was off I had maybe 3-5 migraines. I haven’t been that lucky since before having kids. I usually run about 15 migraine days a month (which is down from 20-30 just a few years ago).

I’ve only been back to work 3 weeks but I’ve had a migraine every single day and even on my days off the last few weeks. I had to call off today. Nothing has been helping including a steroid pack and every abortive and preventative med known to man.

I work as a nurse and can tell that the lighting and heavy lifting for 12 hours is a huge trigger. The problem is this job pays really well. I’d be taking about a $20/hour pay cut moving to a different department or field, and I can’t afford that. I’m pretty sure they are going to try and fire me (I caught my boss forging another supervisor’s signature and she has been retaliating since but that’s a whole different story. she froths at the mouth for any excuse to write me up).

I’ve cut back my hours, took a slight pay cut and given up my benefits for a more flexible schedule. I have never been fired from any job and I don’t want to be fired. I really do enjoy working and I like the field I work in.

I had an ADA letter from my neurologist but my work declines it and marks them as unexcused absences anyways. I’m not even sure that’s legal in CA. I’m almost done with my masters degree and would be able to switch jobs then. But until then I really can’t afford to lose this job. Calling off gives me horrible anxiety and guilt. I also then stress about retuning the next day and enduring the consequences.

I am on an SSRI, Botox, nerve and trigger point injections. I take rizatriptine and nurtec as abortives. I will also take naproxen, Benadryl, Tylenol, or cyclobenzaprine if the abortive isn’t helping or needs a little help. Zofran gives me migraines so I use phenergan for nausea when needed. I don’t drink or smoke. Caffeine gives me withdrawal migraines so I don’t eat/ drink anything that contains caffeine.

Has anyone ever been fired for their migraines/call offs due to migraines? If so, what did you do following being let go?

Has anyone found a career that isn’t as triggering for their migraines?

How do you manage a career with chronic migraines?