Looking for lived experience.
Preface: Ok I keep getting the same thing over and over. I AM NOT JUMPING FROM 3 DAYS OF KNOWING A WOMAN TO STEP DADDY. I just want some insight or posed questions to help me decide if pursuing a relationship with said single mother is something I want. So i don't rush into something, disrupt a woman and her family just so i can explore something brand new and unknown.
So I'd like to hear from men who've got some real-world experience.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT FINDING A PARTNER. A potential partner has been found.
So about me. I am 43M. Somehow, against all odds, I'm financially independent and have an unusually flexible lifestyle. I have no obligation in life except to myself. No family whatsoever, orphan status my entire life. I was married once upon a time in my early twenties but never had any children. I've dated quite a bit over my life but never had a single person spark my actual attention....
Just last month while traveling, this amazing woman somehow captured my attention in a way I've never experienced. We spent 3 days together in a little whirlwind of connection. She's beautiful, smart, successful (holds a high level corporate job that is HIGHLY competitive), independent, direct, lives where I've been actively seeking to go set up a more stationary life and have great friends and a small community, and is not far off from my age.
At the end of the second day, she dropped a bomb. She is a single mother of 3 young boys (under the age of 10)..... Was I surprised? Yeah, a little. But then I started noticing things about her that made sense of who she is and why I've become so highly intrigued.
I've never dated a single mother, but honestly, I've never had the opportunity or drive to. I have at one point wanted a family of my own, but honestly, now I don't care one way or the other.
When we parted ways, I thought it would probably kind of fizzle out and life would go back to the way it was. Now a month has passed by and we still message and video call. We've been learning about each other, and we both have shown immense interest and found maybe something worth exploring.
That being said..... Her children are most important and nothing matters more than them. They are her first priority, and she has made that clear. And I completely agree.
She has a complex life with great responsibility both to her kids and her professional career. And I am the absolute opposite, with no more work and a fluid lifestyle that has me living on the road the majority of the time.
We've discussed boundaries, responsibilities, and our views of what we'd each expect if a serious relationship were to develop. Her concern would be my lack of knowledge or experience with family dynamics, as I've literally never had anything like that in my life. But she also sees how someone like me could potentially take to it like a fish to water because it's something I've never experienced, even as a child. Me I feel like a deer in the headlights. Maybe this truck hits me maybe it slows down and I figure it out.
I tend to agree with both of her thoughts on this.
We've decided to continue talking, and after a few months, when I travel back that direction and she has more time, we can reconnect and maybe explore this idea.
Now the question for men and even women:
Have you ever dated a single mother? What were things that surprised you, and what did you learn?
I know sacrifice would be large on my end, and loss of the relationship means loss with more than just her or me. I have spent my entire adult life with almost complete freedom and no family obligations. I've unexpectedly met a woman I genuinely care about who comes with three children and a very complicated life.
What does a man like me need to understand before deciding whether I'm actually capable of building a life around that?
Do you have any questions or views that maybe I need to consider?
I'm just at a loss. This woman has really grabbed my attention in a way I DO NOT want to ignore.
Maybe I'm crazy....
Thanks in advance, and please, I'd like to keep the comments or advice to those who have lived experience. That goes for any single parents who dated a someone with no kids. And I guess the perspective of someone who grew up with a single parent who had a relationship with someone with no knids could be insightful.