u/Emergency-Radio-6872

My boyfriend and I were already having issues because he wanted to talk to me about something over the weekend. Then on Thursday I ended up having to go to urgent care/the ER because of a painful medical issue. I told him ahead of time that I wouldn’t respond much because I’d be there.

After I got out, while I was literally on narcotic pain meds after a painful procedure, he started acting weird and saying he had “mixed feelings” and didn’t really want to talk to me. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and it turned out he was upset because I liked some guy’s Instagram pictures. The guy was literally my cousin, and I even showed him proof.

At one point he sent me an “I’m watching you” message and I reacted with a 😂 because I genuinely thought it was ridiculous since it was my cousin and I would never cheat. He got mad and said I shouldn’t be laughing because he was considering breaking up with me and that I stress him out.

Saturday comes around and he randomly invites me to the mall to shop for a Mother’s Day gift. I honestly just planned to stay home and watch UFC with him later, but I still got myself up, showered, and got ready even though I still felt awful and was medicated because I wanted to see him. The first thing he says when he sees me is basically that I look sick/bad.

Then at the mall he keeps walking ahead of me and telling me I’m slow even though I’m still recovering. Then he tells me he already made plans with his cousin to watch UFC because he “didn’t think I would come.” He offered a last minute double date type thing, but I told him it was okay and to just have a boys night because I didn’t want to ruin his plans. Even though honestly it hurt my feelings that he still made those plans knowing I wasn’t doing well.

The whole time together felt rushed and like he was trying to hurry up and drop me back off at home. They ended up going to a bar after too.

Then later that week he starts telling me things like I “don’t love him,” I “wasn’t excited to see him,” and I “wasn’t happy.” I kept trying to explain that I was literally medicated, exhausted, in pain, and recovering from a procedure. He also kept insisting I tell him the exact reason I went to the ER even though I repeatedly said I wasn’t comfortable talking about it yet because it’s personal and I’ve only told my mom.

I finally snapped and told him I shouldn’t have to apologize for being sick and that I didn’t deserve how he was treating me.

This also isn’t the first time recently that I felt unsupported by him. The week before, I was crying my eyes out over this whole situation and instead of seeing me, he went to eat with his sister, her husband, and his brothers. I couldn’t even go because of my situation. I was hoping he could at least stop by before because I had even made calzones for him. He said he’d come see me after dinner, but he never did.

AIO for feeling really hurt and unsupported

My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) went to the same high school but never actually talked. We had mutuals and knew of each other, but no classes together and no interaction. Back then I was pretty chubby, and since then I’ve lost 50+ lbs.

A few years after high school, he randomly requested me on Instagram, slid into my DMs, asked me out, and we ended up dating. At first I almost didn’t go because I kept thinking “why now?” I even cancelled the first date the day of, but he had already bought flowers and offered to at least drop them off, so I ended up going. We clicked immediately and have been together since.

The thing I struggle with is part of me keeps thinking he wouldn’t have wanted me before I lost weight. He’s always been fit/athletic, and I’ve always felt like I naturally gain weight easily. Sometimes I get anxious about even gaining a few pounds because I’m scared he’ll stop being attracted to me. I mean I’ve seen the girls he followed before they were all thin or athletic.

He says he’s changed a lot since high school and isn’t the same person anymore, and he treats me well. But there’s still this part of me that wonders if it’s a red flag that he only pursued me after my appearance changed and I worry about the future.