u/Emergency_Advance621

I've relapsed after 13 days clean. Yeah, it bothers me that I didn't make it to two weeks. But my parents ignorance kinda makes it funny again. I've got 14 cuts on my forearm rn and i walk around in short sleeves. Those scabs, some from yesterday (I went out of my room when they just stopped bleeding) are being completely ignored. BUT THE SMALLEST DETAILS OF MY KEEP GETTING CRITCISED. My parents really just make the world how they want to see it.

AND WHY THE HELL HAS NO ONE TOLD ME THAT GETTING CLEAN IS PHYSICALLY PAINFUL. NOT JUST MENTALLY. I WAS SITTING IN MY ROOM WITH A HEADACHE BECAUSE OF THE URGES TO RELAPSE.

I wish I never started self harm. But I'd probably have killed myself if I hadn't. Life sucks :c

Love yourselves 🫶

Hi, ich (16 amab), verstehe einfach nichts mehr. Mir ist klar, dass ich als Frau um einiges glücklicher wäre, dass mein Körper mir viel mehr gefallen würde und dass ich mich wohler fühlen würde. Plan jetzt währe mit 18 für ein bis zwei Monate Hormontherapie "auszuprobieren" und wenn ich merke, dass es doch nichts für mich ist aufzuhören.

Aber immer wenn ich versuche darüber einzulesen, woher ich mit 18 Hormone bekommen kann, werde ich überfordert und es schüchtert mich sehr ein. Mein Hirn gibt dann einfach auf.

Wenn ich mich aber über die Effekte von Hormontherapien fortbilde fühle ich mich viel mehr so, als ob ich "wirklich" trans bin (habe keinen Weg das besser auszudrücken, sorry).

Die Effekte hören sich alle so toll an, aber ich bin einfach maßlos überfordert. Hat jemand ähnliche Erfahrungen gemacht und kann mir davon berichten?

I'm done with cutting. It gets me nowhere. Fuck all of that. I regret starting. No, i never went deep. No, i didn't cut long. Almost two months to be exact.

I started because otherwise i probably would have killed myself otherwise. I had a letter and full plan and everything. But i didn't. Live got beautiful again. I started loving life again. I will have scars for a long time but who cares? They show what i've been though and i've got no shame in it.

I hope you all find your own reason to quit. It's a wonderful feeling. Love you all 🫶

I've got arms with a few visible veins and yeah, the urge has been growing to cut over one, to just nick it a little. I know it's not smart but i also know how to deal with bleeding. Probably. Got all the stuff i need. I'll probably do it today.

What's wrong about eating someone who recently passed away, not rotting? Yeah, sure, it's not socially acceptable and "wrong".

But why?

No pic because some are still scabs.

I went out today in a pretty ugly self cut tank top with the few scars on my shoulders showing on a rather long bike ride. Noone even have them a glance even though i'd say they're recognisable as SH. Not even my parents said anything but they also don't give a fuck about me.