u/Emifish115

I just got 50 days on I Am Sober (yay ig). I know I should be happy, but I just feel scared. Like, was it all for nothing? Is this it fr? I never got to do a big deep cut or use the sharpest tools yet.

I have noticeable scars yeah, but they're not shockingly bad or anything. There's only 2 that could be considered bad (one got stitches and the other should've). And it makes me feel as kind of a poser in a way

It also feels like this is me growing up and becoming an actual adult, with my scars fading and my clean streaks going up exponentially. It's really scary for some reason

I miss when I was a teen stuck in my room just not even caring about being clean. I was comfortable inside all of that darkness, I felt alive. Now I just feel so hollow inside because I don't get the intense feelings cutting used to give me