u/Emmachristie98

I [27F] have been with my boyfriend [28M] for over 6 years. We are part of a close friendship group that includes my boyfriend's two best friends and their girlfriends. I've known both of his friends for years, including before they got into their current relationships.

One of these friends has started behaving differently towards me over the last 6 months and I'm struggling to work out whether I'm overthinking it or whether I should address it directly.

Here’s Some examples off the top of my head but there’s plenty more like it:

He regularly compliments my appearance (dress, hair, smell, etc.).
He once noticed and commented on a hole in my leggings near my crotch, which felt like a strange thing to notice.
When my boyfriend was talking about joining the military, this friend joked that if my boyfriend died, one friend could have his PC and he would "have me."
During a drinking game, he refused to do one challenge involving his own girlfriend but was willing to do one involving me (I declined).
He often makes a point of sitting next to me in group settings.
Other people in the group have commented that he seems to focus on me more than anyone else and is always talking to me.
He once talked about his dream home and said he'd have a four-poster bed that he'd let me try out. His girlfriend asked why I would be in his bed and he replied, "Obviously not with me in it."
He is a golfer and greenkeeper and has spent a lot of time helping me learn golf. However, this has always been with my boyfriend present and never one-to-one. What stood out to me was that when his own girlfriend wanted to get into golf, he didn't seem nearly as interested in helping her as he was in helping me.
Just recently, when we were all outside a pub smoking, he was casually throwing his lighter to his girlfriend when she wanted it, but when I needed a light and his lighter ran out, he went to his car, got another one, and stood shielding it from the wind so I could light my cigarette.

For context, my boyfriend has noticed this too. We've talked about it openly and honestly. It annoys him, but he doesn't want to come across as jealous or make things worse.

I've also tried gently knocking back comments when they happen, but the behaviour continues.

Another thing that makes me question it is that my boyfriend's other best friend has told us that he thinks this friend has always had a thing for me. Personally, I never really saw it and I've only started noticing a change in his behaviour over the last few months.

His relationship with his girlfriend also hasn't been great recently. I should also add that I don't have much of a friendship with his girlfriend. We get on fine, but we don't have much in common and don't really talk outside of group situations. I'm much closer to the boys in the group and the other girlfriend.

The complication is that this friend and I used to have a genuinely good friendship, and he and my boyfriend have always had a very close friendship. I don't want drama, and I don't want to accuse him of anything unfairly. I just want things to go back to feeling normal.

My question is:
How do I handle this?

Do these behaviours sound like someone who may have feelings for me or blurred boundaries, or could this genuinely just be friendliness that I'm overthinking?

TLDR: I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we're part of a close friendship group. Over the last 6 months, one of my boyfriend's best friends has been giving me a lot of attention, making personal compliments, singling me out in group settings, and making a few comments that have crossed into uncomfortable territory. Multiple people in the group, including my boyfriend, have noticed it. His own relationship is struggling at the moment, and another friend believes he's always had a thing for me, although I've only really noticed the behaviour recently. I value our friendship and don't want drama, but it's starting to affect the group dynamic and my boyfriend's friendship with him. Am I overthinking this, or does it sound like he may have feelings for me?

Does my boyfriend’s best friend fancy me? [27F]

I [27F] have been with my boyfriend [28M] for over 6 years. We are part of a close friendship group that includes my boyfriend's two best friends and their girlfriends. I've known both of his friends for years, including before they got into their current relationships.

One of these friends has started behaving differently towards me over the last 6 months and I'm struggling to work out whether I'm overthinking it or whether I should address it directly.

Here’s Some examples off the top of my head but there’s plenty more like it:

He regularly compliments my appearance (dress, hair, smell, etc.).
He once noticed and commented on a hole in my leggings near my crotch, which felt like a strange thing to notice.
When my boyfriend was talking about joining the military, this friend joked that if my boyfriend died, one friend could have his PC and he would "have me."
During a drinking game, he refused to do one challenge involving his own girlfriend but was willing to do one involving me (I declined).
He often makes a point of sitting next to me in group settings.
Other people in the group have commented that he seems to focus on me more than anyone else and is always talking to me.
He once talked about his dream home and said he'd have a four-poster bed that he'd let me try out. His girlfriend asked why I would be in his bed and he replied, "Obviously not with me in it."
He is a golfer and greenkeeper and has spent a lot of time helping me learn golf. However, this has always been with my boyfriend present and never one-to-one. What stood out to me was that when his own girlfriend wanted to get into golf, he didn't seem nearly as interested in helping her as he was in helping me.
\- Just recently, when we were all outside a pub smoking, he was casually throwing his lighter to his girlfriend when she wanted it, but when I needed a light and his lighter ran out, he went to his car, got another one, and stood shielding it from the wind so I could light my cigarette.

For context, my boyfriend has noticed this too. We've talked about it openly and honestly. It annoys him, but he doesn't want to come across as jealous or make things worse.

I've also tried gently knocking back comments when they happen, but the behaviour continues.

Another thing that makes me question it is that my boyfriend's other best friend has told us that he thinks this friend has always had a thing for me. Personally, I never really saw it and I've only started noticing a change in his behaviour over the last few months.

His relationship with his girlfriend also hasn't been great recently. I should also add that I don't have much of a friendship with his girlfriend. We get on fine, but we don't have much in common and don't really talk outside of group situations. I'm much closer to the boys in the group and the other girlfriend.

The complication is that this friend and I used to have a genuinely good friendship, and he and my boyfriend have always had a very close friendship. I don't want drama, and I don't want to accuse him of anything unfairly. I just want things to go back to feeling normal.

My question is:

Do these behaviours sound like someone who may have feelings for me or blurred boundaries, or could this genuinely just be friendliness that I'm overthinking? And if you were in my position, would you address it directly, or leave it alone? Would you speak to him about it, call him out on it or just leave it?

TLDR: I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we're part of a close friendship group. Over the last 6 months, one of my boyfriend's best friends has been giving me a lot of attention, making personal compliments, singling me out in group settings, and making a few comments that have crossed into uncomfortable territory. Multiple people in the group, including my boyfriend, have noticed it. His own relationship is struggling at the moment, and another friend believes he's always had a thing for me, although I've only really noticed the behaviour recently. I value our friendship and don't want drama, but it's starting to affect the group dynamic and my boyfriend's friendship with him. Am I overthinking this, or does it sound like he may have feelings for me or blurred boundaries? Should I address it directly or leave it alone?