u/EmoMetalHead89

I’ve been married almost two years. My husband is ten years older than me. I am his second wife. I thought things were great but my husband drinks wine and over time, he has started to drink a bottle of wine a night. He won’t drink during the day because he’s working but at around 4pm, he’s drinking. It’s starting to escalate and get worse. I can’t have a conversation with him because it will be during his “drinking time.” Or he will say one thing like, get whatever you want and then later will get onto me like I’m a child. One time while he was playing Fortnite with the kids (5, and 2-10 year olds), I asked him something and he went OFF on me. In front of the children. The way he was talking to me, he looked like he was
Looking past me. I know his ex wife was verbally and emotionally abusive to him and she left him for a woman. Anyway.. it looked like he was arguing with her and not me during that time.
He’s always talking about her, even on Reddit posts and is still wanting to be friends and hang out with his ex father in law.
Anyway, he’s always belittling me, I’m afraid to ask or say anything. I moved out of my home state to be with him to his state. He also admitted to me about a year ago the first
Time we met and I went to his house, he was drunk and couldn’t remember. When drunk he’s always repeating himself and will say how people call him a genius, and that I’m immature and still learning this world..
I’m tired of being treated like a child, I’m tired of being called immature, walking on eggshells, I’m tired of him thinking he’s a better parent than I am, I’m tired of being disappointed for every anniversary-birthday and Christmas…
What can I do from here? I made a vow… I’m emotionally and physically tired.
Thank you for reading this.

I dated a guy for 3 years, over a decade ago. We still talk to each other every now and then, very cordial. I have vivid dreams of us talking. We are talking about kids, jobs, life.. I dream and he’s in them at least once a week. Every couple of weeks, My mom will call me and tell me my dad sees my ex all the time where he works at. First thing my ex will ask is how I’m doing.. I’m not sure what my dreams mean with him. It’s never about getting back together, it’s just us talking. I feel the butterflies and our connection but it’s never more than that.
I’m curious what this means.

I feel like my husband doesn’t know me. All my gifts he gives me are half assed, not planned. I’m pretty easy- I’ve made a wishlist on Amazon, he can look at my tattoos and sewing area for ideas. I think he’s stuck from his first marriage or maybe it’s all the wine he drinks.
On Mother’s Day- I asked him for a card because I didn’t want to be disappointed. Valentine’s Day- I asked for a card and didn’t get one.
I received a Mother’s Day card- it was a card that didn’t say Happy Mother’s Day- it was a blank card- sure okay. He just signed it. Then got me a vegetable plant. I don’t garden, I have never gardened or have shown interest EVER. His ex wife gardens.. anyway. He saw the disappointment in my face, he apologizes and blames it on me saying he tried really hard. He said, I know how much you like this vegetable? I’m done..
When I give gifts, it comes from the heart. I think so hard because I love giving gifts. Do I just do the same energy and get him his favorite food and be done? Or don’t go on his level and get him something nice?

TL;DR: Husband gives shitty, half ass gifts. For Mothers Day he did the bare minimum and got me a plant to garden (I don’t garden EVER) and a card that was blank with a signature. That he got from the night before. Do I share his energy and do the same thing or go all out like I normally do for Father’s Day?