I miss her
I lost someone 2 years ago and the thoughts of her keep coming back no matter what I do and honestly it’s getting to a point where she’s all I think about. She was different from everyone else I met and that’s the part that really hurts me. When we first met it was something different, it was like something in me was screaming “that’s the one” and since then I’ve done a lot of different things and losing her caused me to change a lot. Before her I was purely atheist but as soon as I started talking to her, something in me had changed. I started praying for some reason, not about her but just about everything else in my life at the time. And then after we stopped talking to each other I kept praying for her without even thinking. Now it doesn’t stop, she’s all I think about anymore and every little thing almost makes me feel how I did when I was with her. And there’s this voice in my head telling me to try and talk to her again and I’ve tried to but it ends up with her ignoring me, I haven’t tried to reach out for a long time but now I’m fighting the urge 24/7 and I’m going through a lot of psychosis because of this. I’ve tried everything to move on but nothing works anymore and my physical health is starting to deteriorate because of this and I don’t trust a therapist to make the situation sound simple because it isn’t, I miss her so much and I don’t know how much longer I can keep dealing with this and I’m honestly waiting for my mind to shut down completely because of this. I’ve been physically sick because of this and I’m not sure how much longer I can drag this on. I tried talking to her but she has other things going on and I’m not trying to get in the way. So yeah I should forget about her but part of me can’t let her go