r/NeverSentLetters

I am not as boring as I seem. I want to get to know you, I actually do. Will you still come visit? If not I understand. I feel comfortable with you, and I am not sure why. I feel anchored. Centered. And I am okay with being friends. I am okay with seeing where it goes, too.

I'm just a nervous texter. Because of past experiences with people.

When I looked in your eyes it was like time stopped. And I feel silly for saying this. But i totally forgot what we were talking about. But I memorized the color of your eyes, and I want to see them again- because they were captivating. I had a flood of relaxation and felt so grounded and the moment stretched forever it seemed. I didn't want it to end. Its so silly of me.

Now, I am afraid whatever happened was one sided brain chemistry. And I don't want to read into it, if it was. But I do want to get to know you and be friends. I just get nervous about annoying people in general because I've had people push me away, even when I wasn't clingy, I was just trying to be kind.

I am unsure of how to approach you here.

People say "be yourself". I haven't been fully myself in so long- I've been tired, broken, and fragmented, I don't remember how to be anything. I just know I am curious about you right now. And I am quiet and shy. And I feel sad that you probably are not interested in me. The confidence I usually have in these situations is gone. Because I think you like someone else. And because I know more than i should about everything.

My own feelings are likely complex about this situation.

But those eyes. They got me. I hope I didn't miss some very important social cues. I am very bad at reading expressions through eyes.

I probably sound pathetic. Thats why this will never be sent.

​

You promised me you wouldn't hurt me. You put a lot of love patience and effort into convincing me to give you a chance. I finally did. You completely stole my heart, I fell in love with you.

But.... You kept a secret from me though. You should have told me, It would have given me a chance to be prepared. But instead I had to find out the hard way.

In the beginning I was so confused and scared. I didn't realize what was happening. I was in complete shock with the drastic sudden changes. I couldn't even think straight. It was scary how hateful and dangerous you became overnight. I stayed regardless. Stupity I guess.. then you finally told me...

Then it all made complete sense.. by then it was too late.. the "secret" had already swallowed you whole. Leaving you in a distorted reality of your own. The voices hated me, they convinced you I was the enemy. I still stayed! I thought you'd eventually come back to me.

The version of you that I fell in love with was completely gone. No matter how hard I prayed for you, it only got worse. Watching you change into someone I no longer recognized was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced.

We were supposed to get married, build a life together. But Little by little, the man I once knew disappeared, leaving behind only a shadow of who you used to be.

During this period of time, I lost insight on my own reality/life. I believe I became unwell myself, codependency maybe? You were my only concern, I stayed by your side through the torment and abuse.

I lost everything that mattered to me. My Job, Apt, car, friends, family. All in just a cpl weeks. I can only blame myself for it though.

This "secret" has taken so much from you and from everyone who loves you. It's devastating to watch you battle a mind that has turned against you.

I miss you, and my heart breaks knowing how much you're suffering. You refuse to get treatment, You refuse to even admit your unwell.

I tell myself this isn't your fault, it's the "secrets" fault. If we only caught it sooner, we could have gotten help with making it more manageable. But instead You tried hiding it, hoping you could make it disappear.

I know that you would never intentionally hurt me in all those awful ways you recently have. I'm lucky I'm still alive. I'm done with all of it! I've accepted the fact I can't fix you, and you just kept getting worse.

This last incident was a total wake up call. While you spent those days in jail, I had a chance to wake up. I'm not turning my back on you, I'm just putting myself first. You're going to end up killing me if I stay. I can't and won't do this anymore.

I'm getting my life back. Nothing will change this decision of mine either. Even if you get treatment and get better. You've done way too much damage, where I'll never ever be able to feel safe around you again.

Maybe this isn't your fault, but it's not my fault either. I wish you the best. Good luck

Get a life grow up be your age take care of your kids. Stop chasing and playing woman for your own gain. Get checked lol. Keep your pitiful self far away. One a cheater always as I've heard you always have been. Do not let me see you ever again. I want nothing to do with a lying sneaky manipulative pos. As for her haha hmmm . Check it out. Lesson learned now all the others will. Broke mf you will never get ahead childish as they come

I did all my best to live life but today I finally decided to end things. I’m tired. I hope the people I love will understand this decision. I hope they find happiness when I’m gone. Bye Nhel, advance happy birthday!

I hope he cheats.

a year has passed and im still stuck on what once was. i still find myself waiting around for you to come around and realise that we can give 'us' another shot, but our story was done before the book even closed. i lost your trust and showed you an undesirable side of me so i understand why you haven't tried reaching out again. i hate to admit that after all this time, i still want it to be you. i never realised how much i took you for granted in our relationship until you left; i miss your good morning/night texts, your presence, your kindness and consideration, your loyalty, and everything you were to me. now, I don't know who you are, and you don't know who i am either, and that part hurts. i used to know your routine, and the soft way you spoke to me but now i only know your coldness, and you only know my overbearing and insensitive self - i wish we could start again on a blank page. i still look for you in other people and get disappointed when i realise they're not you. i hope one day our paths can meet again when we're in a better place for each other but i know you don't hope for the same; you met someone new. i wonder if you ever wonder about me too. i miss you ***.

You're not my favorite mistake you're just a simple regret I thought I knew who you were but watch how fast I forget!

he wont leave me alone and makes fake pages. fakes his ethnicities. sends photos of random ass people trying to pass it off as him. then gets pissed telling me he is jealous. well you should of thought of it long ago when you were to busy making accusations you stupid fck. It’s starting to annoy me badly. seems he believes his own crap at this point lying to me the way he does. You call me angry and used to but why? Why can’t you leave me alone and find your oriental Asian wife like you wanted back in your East Asian country. I hope I find someone good eventually and move on from the mess you are when you know you messed up and could have easily fixed things but no you blame me. focus of ur lame ass music career and finding that wife you so desperately wanted when you would get mad at me for not replying fast enough.

Dear Noorie,

Every time I walk past the places where we used to sit together, it feels like someone put a weight on my chest. Those places haven't changed, but everything about them feels empty without you. They're just reminders of a life I thought we would have someday.

I still remember the day you wore that blue dress. You looked unreal like someone I would only see in my dreams. I don't think I told you enough back then, but you were the most beautiful person I ever met.

I always loved you. Not for a moment, not for a season but with every part of me. I always imagined spending the rest of my life with you, growing older together, laughing over stupid things (just like we always used to do haha), and building a life that was ours.

Some nights, I replay everything in my head, wondering where it all went wrong. And if there's one thing I could change, it would be involving that one motherfucker who somehow managed to build walls where there were once bridges between us. I hate that I ever gave anyone the chance to come between what we had.

The hardest part isn't that you are gone. It's knowing you are still alive somewhere, living a life that no longer has me in it. That's the kind of pain that doesn't scream, it just quietly stays with you every day.

No matter how much time passes, a part of my heart will always belong to you. Maybe people move on, maybe memories fade, but some love never really leaves. It just learns how to live with the silence.

I hope life is kind to you. I hope you're smiling, even if I'm no longer the reason behind it.

And if, somehow, in another life or another universe, we find each other again... I hope we get it right that time.

The voice with the songs ill never hear again. I hear you sometimes when we have to speak that's why its hard to not forget the songs you sang. Someday I hope to be free from this. You cause way to much pain with no regrets. The price youll pay later is on you. Ill be your biggest regret

Heeeeyy Yoouu,

My mind won't stop with you, but the solution is releasing you. I don't need permission. It's my right. To feel complete again is my release.

Releasing energy into the wind is like letting sand slip through an open hand. You can spend your life trying to hold on to every grain, only to realize that what was meant to leave always finds a way. Some would call that catharsis. I think of it as restoring balance. Allowing the good to remain while making peace with what no longer serves you.

The word release has always carried different meanings. In baseball, a pitcher releases the ball and watches it tumble toward its destination. Whether it's met with a swing, a miss, or left untouched is no longer theirs to decide. Once it leaves the hand, the outcome belongs to something beyond them.

Perhaps our own lives work much the same way.

Releasing our thoughts, our presence, our complexity, and even the parts of ourselves we've hidden away is rarely comfortable. It asks something of us. It brings us to a reckoning, and every reckoning carries a little chaos. Yet it is often through that chaos that clarity quietly arrives.

Release is not the absence of struggle; it is what waits on the other side of accepting it.

It should never resemble shame.

Shame clings and asks to be carried. Release asks only to be trusted. It lightens what has grown too heavy and reminds us that letting go is not the same as giving up.

Whatever energy we release into the world has a way of returning, altered perhaps, but familiar nonetheless. So release with intention. Let go of the uncomfortable moments that have outlived their purpose.

Hold close the memories that deserve gratitude, and allow yourself to dream without asking permission from your past.

Go forth with release. Not because the journey becomes easier, but because you become lighter as you continue it.

~The Wiser

Amy, I hope it was amusing this time.. I tried so fucking hard. I just wanted to be enough. Loved you. Truly I did.

I spent so long making peace with loneliness that it stopped feeling like an enemy. It became routine. A chair that was always pulled out for me. An extra pillow that never needed to be touched. Empty conversations I learned to finish by myself. I convinced myself that maybe this was all life had for me.

And then you happened.

Not loudly. Not all at once. Just enough to make silence sound different. Somewhere between your words and your presence, home stopped being a place and quietly became a person.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t feel lonely anymore.

And somehow, that terrifies me more than loneliness ever did.

Because loneliness only ever asked me to survive. You ask me to hope.

Hope is cruel. It gives your heart something to lose.

I don’t know if you’re my person.

I don’t know if we’re meant to find our way to forever, or if we’re simply passing through each other’s lives, leaving behind permanent fingerprints.

I don’t know if this is the beginning of something that will outlive us both, or just another beautiful story with an ending neither of us sees coming.

All I know is that if you leave, you’ll take something with you that I can never ask to have back.

You’ll take the version of me that finally believed love could happen to me too.

People think the hardest part is being alone. It isn’t.

The hardest part is finally finding someone who makes loneliness disappear, only to realize that every beautiful moment with them comes wrapped in the quiet fear that one day, you’ll have to learn how to be lonely all over again.

Before you, I had nothing to lose.

Now I have you.

And I have never been more afraid.

Did I even know you???

did I love you??

what was it?

lust?

emptiness of my heart??

what was it??

you said tell everyone you are mine but how can you be mine??

why were you mine?

without any reasons?

I guess your heart is thirsty for human interaction

I guess it's my fault I thought your kindness as sign of loved

I guess it wasn't meant to be like this

Now you left my heart is looking for your sight

Now you left my ear are eager to listen to your hypnotizing voice

Now you left my eyes still looking for your good morning messages to see

Now you left my mind is still contemplating upon you

what was it???

A fling may be for you

A raining of kindness on my drought heart for me

khair I guess it wasn't meant for long

remembering you as a beautiful part of my life

have to go on with life but at one corner of my heart i will always remember you

just like your name you make me well being

just like your name you embraced my life with prosperity

just like your name you healed my heart

- for my dear vitality

Attempting to understand your emotions will always prove to futile because you are constantly changing your perception of me. it feels like some days you like me other days i feel like im just annoying you and i have said this over and over but it feels like my feelings and existence is merely a temporary matter to you. i cant even blame you because its my fault for allowing you to have this much power over my mind and feeling. Even now i sit here and right this knowing nothing will change and you probably think im doing to much for someone who im not currently with but all that shows is that you don’t listen and you never actually knew me, If you did you would be able to somewhat grasp just how much love i have for you in my heart. Yes we currently aren’t together but why do we as humans force each other to think that showing less love will allow us to feel more loved.I just want you to acknowledge me, or see me, not even in a romantic way i just want it to be how it was in the past. I miss the big smile i would bear when we talked or the euphoric satisfaction i felt whenever you would say certain things. I dont even fully understand how you have this much pull over me especially after everything but you do and i cant stop myself from longing for you. i distract myself everyday from the pain that you dont/wont see me anymore. I miss the first time i came over and you smiled at me and you felt so warm and happy. it was during that hangout when i first felt it, i got the feeling of being that same little kid wondering if i someone would actually ever learn to love and accept me for who i am, and you did. I remember the first time you called me baby boy and how much i felt in my heart and soul, or that first kiss that sent that shiver down my spine. You are such a special person to me that no matter how many times you have undermined my feelings or misunderstood me i could never bear any sort of resentment to you, when my friends all told me that you dont care about and swore you did or how no matter how much i tell myself to leave you alone and not think about you i find myself constantly crawling back. i think about you during the mundane moments of my day like when i stare at blank paper in english or whenever i hear certain drake songs. i wish you thought of me like that, i wish you cared about me like i care about you. Its hard going back to regularity when you were the regular-ness in my life, you were the only thing i thought for months. I told you im no longer living with regrets and i meant that almost. the only regret i have is not stopping myself that day, if i could have just mustered the strength to say no and mean it maybe this wouldnt be the position we’re in. But who knows. actually scratch that you know the funny thing is i can write all day about the love i have for you but it doesnt matter because i remembered you dont and probably wont/have never seen me for more than what my body is worth and thats fine as long as i can have you in my life i suppose🤷🏿‍♂️.

died today.

The hardest fight of my life, against someone I never viewed as my enemy or opponent...

And I wasn't even allowed to defend myself.

How could you really think those things of me? How?

It doesn't even matter anymore.

you killed my heart.

goodbye.

Missing You.

Crazy to me. It is electrical. Super charged.

I would make sure you slept well.

You were appreciated.

This is just for you. I don't really share.

I am very intentional.

If this is really you, I dont think I can put myself out there (quiet sign) i am hurting.

What happened a couple of weeks ago, it made me very hesitant.

I dont like drama. Please keep in mind that I know it was not your doing.

It made me question my own discernment. My character and my reason....like did they think

I expected a grand gesture or hey! Rules change be ause you feel something.... but instead (in my mind) I was really leaning into a slow burn which I was/am fine with (those words straight out of your writing and existed already in my mind).

But if this is you. YOU? Writing all of these beautiful, sexy things. You are firing it up, again- (in my mind) ❤️‍🔥.

Fridays are and have been torture for months. Friday mornings are good.... evenings are BRUTAL.

I know what I would like to be doing over the weekend.

And in my mind it isn't a possibility....is this really you?

I need something. I cannot put myself out there unless I receive it.

If it is you, I care, live for and love yoi so much. It was nit a choice but it would be.💔

Try and Come back after your choice fell through as if she doesn’t know the truth behind your actions. Anyone that can disrespect something she knowingly cherished the way you did would have to jump through more hoops than your man enough to accomplish. Especially since this is not the first time you’ve done this. She is done with half ass bs. Doubt you ever revive the same love she once had for you. Especially with some weak ass words on Reddit. Why? Because every time someone pays you a little attention to purposely break you two up your dumb arse falls for it. She deserves a man with integrity and strength that keeps his eye on the prize. Are you that man? Doubt it!!!!