r/NeverSentLetters

I think the hardest part about losing you is knowing that I could probably meet someone else someday, but I don't think I'll ever love them the way I loved you.

There’s this loneliness that follows me everywhere. Some days it’s quiet, and other days it feels like there’s an empty space beside me that nobody else could ever fill.

And the strange thing is, I don't even want someone to fill it.

I don't want a replacement. I don't want another person to take your place, because that place belongs to you. Even after everything, even after all this time, I couldn't dream of asking someone else to stand where you once stood.

Maybe that's why moving on feels so impossible. It isn't that I believe you're the only person I could ever meet. It's that I don't want to pretend what we had can simply be recreated with someone else.

I miss being loved by you. I miss loving you. I miss having one person in the world who felt like home.

And now I'm learning what it's like to live with the possibility that I'll spend the rest of my life carrying that love for someone who isn't here anymore.

I wish I could stop feeling so lonely.

But I don't want to stop loving you just so the loneliness will go away.

I hate that I can’t read minds, I hate that we left with no closure we genuinely had so much in common so when you said you didn’t think we were compatible I almost laughed out of shock and a part of me feels like you also think it sounded ridiculous, you yourself didn’t know what was incompatible about us when I asked so a part of me wonders if you were scared to be vulnerable with me because I couldn’t help but noticed that pattern in you.

Currently the way things are are so confusing to me, despite the fact we are no contact your online activity is so complex and I genuinely can’t read what you feel at all, sometimes it seems like you don’t want the story to end either but other times it feels like I’ve been forgotten.

With no closure whatsoever all I’ve thought about was past memories which lead me to believe you may have trouble being vulnerable to others and if I’m right about that then I wish you would try again with me because I don’t want you to be scared about opening up to people in general.

I want to be that safe space for you, someone you could always talk to, someone to tell about your shitty days, happy moments, embarrassing situations and a shoulder to cry on.

I saw how you would close in on yourself when emotions became high and I wanted to do anything to show that I’m here for you no matter what.

I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms, go for picnics and walk my big goofy dog together, I still look at the picture I took of you two while on our walk, him staring directly at you desperately hoping you’d give him one of your chicken nuggets

You chose to betray me, use, and abuse me.

I deserve more, and I deserve better.

Your addiction is not an excuse,

I am not yours to use.

I loved you... wholly and completely.

I saved you, protected you, and in turn you abused me...

I won't forgive, and I won't forget,

I have no regret, your end is nigh, I am the harbringer...

I am coming for you... your end is near.

I will ruin you, and I shall not regret.

I will never forgive you, and I will never forget.

Dear….

I think I might say yes to him.
Not forever just a date.
A drink, a laugh, an evening spent
testing what exists beyond old fate.
But I’d be lying if I claimed
your memory had completely disappeared. Some feelings don’t obey commands; they simply grow quieter with the years.
So maybe I’ll sit beside someone new while a little piece still aches for you. That doesn’t mean I’m going backward. It only means the feeling once was true.
Perhaps I’ll like him.
Perhaps I won’t.
Perhaps my heart will finally surprise me.
Because missing somebody from the past doesn’t mean the future has to pass me by.

—
KK

Beautiful Creature, Impressed are you? In being greatly honest, I almost gave in last Friday and disconnected my heart from each of its valves to place it in a box to store it away into the catacombs of the forgotten. Don’t think of me as being overly poetically dramatic. Things were really building up and were getting the best of my emotions. I could not help but let my emotions take over me for the moment I was feeling them.

As strong as I look and portray myself to be; Yes, I do cry heavenly. I felt the strong urge and needed to. I felt a little better after I cried and fell asleep. It has been said that crying is healthy. I’m a person that can usually hold back my tears. But, I think because I am getting more wiser; my emotions have gotten stronger. I even cry when watching certain movies, television shows, and listening to music that’s overly emotionally dramatic that I can’t help the feeling…

Do you cry like I cry?

I could be wrong, but I screened shot a photo profile of another person’s face that looked identical to your’s only difference… is this person put’s their war paint on. I’ve taken notice that you don’t wear any war paint. And that’s fine with me. I love your face. Don’t be bashful to show it off. I look at that picture on the day’s that I don’t see you. Although, I do see you when I look at that picture. It helps me coupe a little. Bear with me that I do feel and hurt.

I just look back and think that if we had kept going like the way we were going before when we only knew that we secretly had feelings for each other. I just wonder from your perspective if you would have continued to talk me face to face? You had distanced your self for a bit completely almost hiding from me. You thought that you were being too up front with the way you felt in my presence. You didn’t want to lose the communication we had progressed to have as well not losing my presence, either.

But now, I hope that we will try to work on talking to each other face to face, again.

I’m actually proud of myself for initiating that I have feelings for you. I am happy that I communicated back with the few small gestures that I gave to you in order to acknowledge your subtle hinted gestures. Really…No time could be better for us. Acting on what we feel is perfect instead of going silent and standing still for all the wrong reasons.

I’d rather that we both be on an understanding that we have LOVE for each other than the thought being “Lost in Space.” To Be Continued… -DK

I knew this day would come. I saw you walking while I was pulling out with my friend “J”. She noticed you first and told me you were right behind us. I so bad wanted to jump out of the car and run into your arms and kiss you. But I knew if I did that you would think that I forgave you for the horrible way you treated me the last time I saw you.

I could never forgive your actions that day because no matter what you think it changed us and it’ll never be the same again. It hurts to the core and everyday I’m healing and trying to figure out who I’ve become through the last 5 years. I lost myself and became this weak woman who allowed and looked away towards your disrespectful behavior towards me. I loved you with everything in my soul and thought we would grow old together.. But now that will never happen. I know that I don’t hate you even if I said that..I still love you and nothing was a lie in my feelings for you. I wish that we could have ended things differently but we didn’t and I just want you to know that you’ve been in my dreams lately and if you still feel the same way about me…I guess I’ll never know

I spent hours today scouring Reddit, wondering if maybe you’d left a message somewhere. How silly of me.
I cried reading posts from people who had hurt someone and didn’t know how to reach out. They wrote vague, anonymous messages, hoping the person they’d hurt would somehow recognize them and know the words were meant for them. They asked them to call, text, or email, never realizing that the person they hurt, left, or ghosted would probably never believe they were the intended recipient.
And even if they suspected the message might be for them, they probably wouldn’t respond. They couldn’t risk putting their heart on the line again. They couldn’t risk the humiliation or the heartache.
So if you’re out there doing the same, I won’t believe it’s you unless you contact me directly.
So, in case you’re looking too, here’s an obvious message:
“I think I’ve seen this film before. And I didn’t like the ending.” But I wouldn’t trade the rest of it for anything.
And also, I’m sorry I didn’t number this long message for you.
And if you want to talk, you know how to find me. But it’s not here, in this echo chamber.
I wouldn’t shame you. I’m still here, and I’m still me. The person you’ve known so well and who has loved you deeply. ❤️‍🩹
But I’m pretty sure I’ll never hear from you again, here or in real life.
Just know, as I’m sure you already do because I’ve been clear, this was never my decision.

PS. I heard a song the other day I thought you’d like, it made me so sad that I couldn’t send it. I miss the little things like that. And you.
🤍,
Brightness

I know you haven’t been honest with me. I know you’re ashamed to admit to all your lies. Each lie makes me lose a bit more respect. I’m the person who has accepted every single part of you. I know the darkest parts you try your best to hide. I’ve told you, I am you, rather was…I try so hard every day to be better, to work on myself.

I’m the one you’ve been able to open up to most. The trust we built for you to get to that point should tell you everything you need to know about who I am. I stuck around breaking down your walls brick by brick through the last few years. I wouldn’t hate you or judge you, but each lie, each time you don’t give me the whole story I feel my heart pulling further away.

Call it intuition but I know you’re seeing other people, fucking other people. I’m not stupid, I’m not naive, but I’m not going to start a fight. After all, you can’t even admit to the depth of your feelings much less take the next steps. I want to talk about these things, I just want to approach it the right way.

Maybe you tell yourself you don’t want to hurt me…the truth is you don’t want to take accountability. You don’t want to be locked down and you do want to explore other options despite the words that come out of your mouth. I guess maybe you just feel a different level of emotional depth in our connection. That scares the fuck out of you…
Maybe that’s why you lie? Because you think youd lose the person that’s made you feel things you’ve never felt before.

You think I don’t know? when you said your ex was the closest you came to love but you weren’t sure, you think I don’t know why you started to question it?

The fact that I can read your mind even though you’re a person of few words…that terrifies you, doesn’t it?

I know it does, but I’m equally as terrified if not more. Im the one who was left broken and shattered last time. Trust doesn’t come twice for people in my life and yet here I am trying to trust you. I’m struggling…maybe it’s just because I am you..rather like I said was. I’m trying so hard to be better to be more open like I promised but you’re not making it easy.

Same time I have similar worries as you: Am I good enough for you? Can I show up perfect enough not to disappoint you? Am I going to lose my independence? Why do I feel like I’m suffocating after some of our closest moments?

Did I read your mind? We are the same, only difference is that I’ve worked on myself a lot over the years. I wish you could look into attachment theory. I think a lot of things would start to make more sense to you

Each time you drop your guard I feel it. It’s like we’re two people falling in deeper and deeper. Then suddenly, it’s the sudden flip of a switch. Your glance changes, your body language gets defensive. I get it…it’s scary.

You know what’s scarier? Living with the painful reality that we never tried. If we don’t try we still get hurt…

Ms neurotic please take this time to deeply think. About what you really want from life. You could be so great if you let go of all that hurt you... we could be great. If you give it a chance. You need to be able to let your guard down, or you'll forever be searching to fill that hole in your heart. Words can't describe how badly I miss you.. I don't see my life without you, even after 2 years apart. You are the one I want to spend my life with. Everyday I gasp simply for a breath of you. I think about you endlessly. I want the best life possible for you, even if it's not with me. But I can only hope... 🖤🖤🖤

I made the lasagna today that was supposed to be for you.

Maybe I’m just sad and desperate and the rain isn’t helping.

I wish I could share this with you. I’m so tempted to send you a picture and act like nothing happened, like I could just casually message you again.

But that wouldn’t be fair to you.

I really hope you’re doing okay.

Ghad I wish you missed me too. I know that sounds selfish, but I really hope you do.

Because I miss you so much.

I want someone to ask me how my day went. Ask me how I enjoyed the things I said I was doing the day before. Talk about fun things and nonsense at random times. We'd remember the random things we told each other. What was important to each other.  Stay up late because we'd rather chat then go to bed. We'd sit beside each other because we like to do nothing, together. Laugh at videos and stupid jokes. I want a friend who'd rather be doing nothing with me than everything somewhere else.

To the person I could never truly have, I don't know if there will ever be enough words to explain what you have meant to me. Some people come into our lives for a reason, some for a season—but you felt like something more. You felt like home. Like a part of my soul that somehow recognized yours long before I could even understand why.

You are the love I never wanted to lose, and perhaps the hardest goodbye I will ever have to say. If circumstances had been different, if life had been kinder to us, I would have chosen you. Again and again. I would have chosen you in every version of this life, in every possible path where we were allowed to stay. I would have wanted to grow old with you, to share ordinary mornings and difficult nights, to celebrate your victories, hold you through your struggles, and simply be beside you until the very end.

But sometimes, loving someone doesn't mean we get to keep them.

And so, with a heart that still loves you more than it knows how to let go, I am choosing to say goodbye. I hope you find everything you are searching for. I hope your dreams take you somewhere beautiful. I hope your endeavors succeed, and I hope life gives you every opportunity you deserve. Even if I can no longer be beside you to witness them, a part of me will always be quietly cheering for you.

Please never think that what I felt for you was temporary or insignificant. I loved you with a love that reached places in me I didn't know existed. And even if our story doesn't have the ending I prayed for, I will always be grateful that our paths crossed.

I will forever love you—not because I am waiting for you, but because some loves simply become a part of who we are. I will carry the memories, the laughter, the pain, the moments we shared, and everything you taught my heart.
Maybe in this life, we were never meant to be forever.
But if there is another life after this one, I hope I find you again.

And when I do, I hope we meet at the right time, under different circumstances, with nothing standing between us. I hope in that life, I can finally call you mine without fear, without limitations, without having to let you go.
I hope I get to love you openly. I hope I get to wake up beside you, hold your hand through every season, and grow old with you. I hope that in that life, you are not the person I have to say goodbye to, but the person I get to choose until our very last breath.

Until then, please be happy. Please be safe. And please live the life you deserve.
I will let you go, even though my heart doesn't want to.

Goodbye, my honey.
Goodbye to the future we could have had.
Goodbye to the life I secretly wished we could share.
You will always have a place in my heart that no one else can take.
And if souls really do find each other across lifetimes, then perhaps this isn't goodbye forever.
Perhaps it's only until we meet again.

With all the love my heart will always carry,
I will love you in this life, and I will look for you in the next.

We never got to explore the parts of our lives i desperately wanted to. I wish we had the chance to just spend the weekend together. All of those vague plans scattered like broken promises to the wind. I unblocked you just in case you ever wanted to reach out. I hate that there is still a little part of me that goes down the roads of what ifs. Or if I could go back in time I would have done xyz differently. I hate that I can't listen to my Playlist without thinking about you. I keep waiting for the inevitable "hey you" text to come through, as if it would change anything that has already happened between us. We both had our faults and our part in our down fall. I still miss you and I still wish I could have seen you or us stayed friends. This hurts like hell. Do you miss me? Did you move on? Do you want the same things I want? Did you delete my number? Do you wish we could just start over and leave the games and ego driven actions behind us? Did you finally throw away my toothbrush?

I wish you would’ve just trusted I was sincere from the beginning. I left behind everything and everyone for a chance to be happy with you. I waited my whole life for this chance again. I love you beyond words and all time. I never would’ve hurt you. I wanted to protect you while you were healing and show you a loving embrace without judgement or fear of rejection. I welcomed you with open arms and a loving heart open to whatever you had to fill it with. I tried in every way to show you kindness and compassion but you kept crossing boundaries and showing me that my loyalty meant nothing while you questioned my every move. I repeatedly showed you time and again I was not doing those things but you were. You cannot live a certain way and expect the exact opposite from your partner. I will never understand it. Every time I tried to discuss how you were hurting me you just got mad and left you never saw your actions were slowly killing me and I kept filling you up and trying to be patient but you were never there to see the damage you were causing. You were always with her allowing her to feed you lies and deception while using it against me even when you knew deep down it was lies. You know all of the things you put me thru and all of the horrible evil words and names I was served almost every other day. I still love you with every piece of me and wish you would change. I know that will never actually happen so I can’t ever send this to you. I just want you to see me. I know because of the pain in your past you can’t until you’ve healed. Please my love heal your heart and soul and come home. 😞 ride until we die, then we’re ghosts………. Love you always. Please be safe 🙏🏼

Dear….

There is a librarian in my mind
who refuses to remove you from circulation. I have filed the ending,
signed the necessary papers,
returned every borrowed hope.
Still, she keeps your volume
behind the desk.
Restricted access.
Naturally, she reads it every night.
She remembers paragraphs
I deliberately forgot, the warmth between certain sentences,
the chapters where love
had not yet learned its ending.
Sometimes I catch her
running her fingers over your name.
Again? I ask.
She shrugs.
Some books are terrible for us
and beautifully written. Your memory remains sentimental to the librarian, so you are still
the book she refuses to throw away.

—
KK

I can’t really explain it A, every moment when I’m with you I can feel the heat on my skin. Every time I look at you, I see the bright sky behind you, around you, just so bright that it reflects in your eyes. Despite everything, your life seems to fall apart and lonely as my heart. We shared a brief moment at the beach , at the park and even in your car but all I can see is the sunlight on our faces. I want you so much but you are so far from what I need.

I keep you separate from everything I have planned but I like those moments when life seems to stop. When we just sit around underneath the sun.

Even with everything wrong with our lives, I’ll tell you this. You will always remind me of sunlight, A. I hope you would understand me better after your divorce and my eventual death in love.

That I am a blur of colors but you are a moment of light. Keep that in your heart.

Coming from your friend, J.

I fucking miss you baby girl.