u/Emotional-Cod-1569

Hey guys, not sure how welcome it is for people who don't live in Boston to post. I live in the South Coast area and am struggling super hard to find people my age (21M) to engage with. Even at barcades (one of my main places to frequent when I go out, usually Free Play because the value you get is outrageous) most of the people I see are middle aged dudes with their kids and pre-established couples. Book related events have been a complete and utter wash, ESPECIALLY at library-organized events. 65 year old women, while fun to talk to, are not my target audience. There aren't any sports places nearby where I can drop in at random and play a couple games with strangers. I don't enjoy sports on a regular basis and don't want to commit to a league. I'd love to go to the beach and just read in the sunlight but I think I would get publicly stoned to death for doing that. Malls nearby really only have shitty clothing stores with poor selections. Coffee shops are expensive and I don't drink coffee that often. Would be weird and "pick-me" to sit down in a coffee shop and read a book to "look interesting."

I go into Boston every so often for medical reasons, and the stress of getting in/out of the city seems like a total nightmare. That said, when I look at meetup/event sites, dating apps, and other things there is absolutely jackshit going on where I live. Everything happens around Boston. My question is, is the social life really that much better in Boston? What I read on the internet still paints a bleak picture which is kind of depressing seeing as I already live in one of the worst social deserts imaginable. Can't imagine anywhere else being anything other than better.

I haven't exhausted ALL avenues down here but I'm starting to get into the territory of "doing shit I don't really like just to do something new outside of the house." Been waiting on a response from an animal shelter to at least kill a few hours every week walking dogs or something. If that doesn't work out I'm not really sure what to do when it comes to things I have a real & genuine interest in.

One thing to note is that Providence is closer to me than Boston, but I know nothing about the place and don't go there often at all. Wouldn't know the first thing about fun there and don't have anyone to go with. All that in mind, is there anything in Boston you guys would consider a "must-try" for somebody from another part of the state?

Live in New Bedford. Been trying to get out and about and into some new hobbies recently but it's a bit hard when there is nothing going on around here. The few events here and there I might be interested in (usually related to reading books, my other main hobby is gaming but there's jackshit around here for that) are usually attended by older people. Seems to be a problem even when I'm just shopping. I don't like getting stared at by people twice my age like I just took a dump on the floor or something.

I'm 21 and it feels like everywhere I go the average age is either 16 or 55. Where are my people at???

When I was in school and for a bit after I was basically terminally online, slightly overweight, never left the house and was a ball of walking social anxiety and depression. I struggled to make friends and DEFINITELY was not dating, yet I had the biggest social circle I've ever had. Tons of friends I spoke to on a regular basis.

Now that I'm 21 and I've actually put effort into myself to become a better, stronger, more reliable and capable person, I have no fucking friends. My social circle went from like 20 people to 10 to 6 people to 3 and that is soon going to be 2. 2 friends. I can't survive like that, I just can't. I used to be okay with staying inside and being introverted but now I crave that social interaction and mental stimulation. I'm at the most prime part of my life (best ive looked in a while, best I've taken care of my body, I'm way better at socializing and can actually take over a conversation now which I never could have done before) yet I can't make any god damn friends! Nobody I meet ever has any hobbies in common, and it's already rare enough that anybody is even willing to speak to me or acknowledge my existence. My hobbies are mainly gaming, reading, and anime, all shit that I do inside my house. I have zero interest in sports (especially watching them, ugh) which is a problem, especially in a small coastal town where a vast majority of the population is middle aged or elderly and all the young people like sports. I have several conditions that make hiking and nature stuff very difficult to tolerate for long periods of time. Someone told me to try meetup and I got all excited, only to find out that there isn't a single in-person meetup on there within 25 miles. I would have to drive an hour and a half to get stuff going and even then none of it is stuff I would want to do. I basically speedran the list of stuff people tell you to try to get into. I know going to the internet for this is so cooked but it's not like I have anybody I can ask in real life :(

The barcades are full of pre-established couples who want nothing to do with me, I don't grocery shop because I still live with my parents. I work at fuckin home depot so you already know I'm not getting any connections there. I don't go to normal bars because I don't drink - my body does not handle alcohol very well and it always leads to physical suffering the next day. Normal arcades are either parents with their families or high schoolers - ew. There's only one mall nearby (actually in my town) but there isn't anything in there I can do for fun, just clothing and shoe stores with some fast food shops and a theater inside. The theater is AMC and always shows some straight dogshit ass movies so I don't even go there anymore because 1. A theater is a bad place to make friends and 2. I spend egregious money to watch bad movies. I also feel like a massive loser every time I go because I'm alone.

I am seriously going insane. My days off have become me sat in my chair googling places I can go hang out because I've already spent so much of my life inside alone. I'm done with it man, I'm past that phase in my life yet it seems like I'm destined to be trapped here. I didn't go to college, can't afford it and have too many financial obligations to cut work hours and attend classes. I want to make new friends, meet new people, have some fun. It just isn't happening. Getting really frustrated especially because there isn't even a lesson to be learned, I didn't lose my friends being a dick or anything they just gradually moved away, changed interests, went off to school stuff like that. Soon I'm going to be entirely alone and I fear when that happens I may never recover. It already took so much effort to get here, ignoring all the negative thoughts and trauma in my brain from being ruthlessly bullied by classmates and family most of my life. I can FEEL myself being happier, more confident and outgoing but I can't do anything with it. So frustrating and feels like it invalidates all of my effort. Now that I've given myself that taste of the socialized life and the real world I can't just go back to being a shut in :(