Is it normal to feel like this?
\*if you don’t want to read it here’s the summary: I’m depressed as hell and lonely and finding it really hard to try to make new friends.
I know nobody has a unique sorry or experience so the title is obviously meh, apologies.
Long story short (by my own shitty choices I know) I have been struggling to find a job for a few months but I live in a rural area and finding even rides to interviews has made it difficult. Slowly everything I’ve cherished I’ve had to give away or sell. My children are like with their dad full time right now because I can’t provide housing. Trust me, I already know how much of a failure I am right now. This isn’t too much about that but more background as to why I might feel the way I do.
I lost my best friend end of last year and things just went from rough to dark. Quickly.
I feel weird af trying to make friends right now. I know I have more important things I need to be doing but damn would it be easier if I had someone to talk to about it. That being said I feel selfish trying to establish new friendships right now when clearly I’m not in a good place. I want to put my best foot forward but I also just do t want to feel so fucking alone.
How do I even answer the what do you do for work? Where do you live? I can’t even answer the what do you like to do because I have found no joy with the exception of video/phone calls with my kids.
There’s no support group because what am I even grieving? Loss of hope? Anyways, I tried the text helpline and the generic/soulless responses ended up hurting more than making me feel better.
Please don’t confuse my post either. Trust me finding a job and a place to rent so I can have my kids 50/50 again is more than a top priority. I AM trying. Just hoping to find friendships that’ll make this a bit less painful.