I have severe anxiety and OCD to the point that I can not leave the house. I’m also autistic and ADHD (not medicated) I have been prescribed lexapro 10mg. I need something because my quality of life currently is very low, therapy alone seems not enough, but I’m terrified to take it, especially about side effects, I fear the feeling of not having control over my body, but yeah I’m in a really bad place right now.
I think I had the stomach bug Saturday morning (had diarrhea and was nauseous as hell, Zofran thankfully stopped it from happening, went on like that for 3 hours, napped and woke up hungry and just fatigued) I’ve been symptoms free for well over 48 hours now but I just can’t stop spiraling about my kids being sick, I was awake all night last night watching my toddler waiting to for it to happen, I already know I’m going to struggle to sleep again tonight. I’m just an absolute mess waiting for it to hit them.
I woke up around 1am feeling n*, was able to fall back asleep. I woke up again around 4am still n*, and had very urgent d*, it’s now almost 5 am and I just really don’t feel good. I’m so scared. I don’t want to v* or make my kids sick. I’m so so scared.
I have a diagnosis of OCD and one of the biggest parts of it is Emetophobia. I’ve been in ERP since last year and working hard on it. One of my biggest goals for recovery was to take my kids to the aquarium as it’s my daughters favourite place, last week it was my daughter’s birthday so we finally did it! I was so happy and proud, BUT, my toddler ended up getting a stomach bug from it, and he ended up so unwell that after 3 days he ended up in the hospital, it was one of my biggest fears come true. I feel torn because on one hand my daughter said it was the best birthday she’s had, and I was so happy to be able to do that for her finally, but on the other hand, the exact thing I was worried about happening, happened. How do I not let this set me right back? I’ve been doing a lot of compulsions and safety behaviours since my son got sick, way more than what has been needed to stop the spread.
So my OCD is centered around health, contamination, safety, and Emetophobia, particularly of my children. One of my biggest goals in recovery was to be able to take my kids to the aquarium by myself, well last week it was my daughters birthday, so I did it, we had so much fun and I was so happy and proud, BUT, my toddler ended up getting a stomach bug from it, he was so sick that he ended up in hospital after 3 full days of it being non stop. It was one of my worst fears come true. How do I move past this? How do I not let this be a huge setback? It just feels so unfair that this actually happened.