My (29F) boyfriend (32M) talked bad about me with his "family", how can I proceed?
Hi, this is my first time posting here, so idk if this is really a problem or I'm exaggerating things, but here I go.
I (29F) and my boyfriend (32M) have been dating and living together for ten years, I know it seems like a lot, but it's something we really never discussed, we have been dating since we were young and marriage wasn't on our mind, and we live together first to study and have careers, now that uni ended marriage has been on my mind but he told me he thought it wasn't necessary or something I wanted, and that kind of thinking discouraged me a little, I want him to want this but he always makes an uncomfortable face when I brought the conversation, but it's confusing, he has me in his health insurance and he has a life insurance that if something happens I can survive a little, so??? I'm a little confused
This issue has been something that kinda deteriorates our relationship, well... This and other issues as well, I haven't been able to find a job due to depression and there's no need of me in my area, but I've been dealing with the house and his cat, I cook and clean and do chores, sometimes I even make pastries for him and I sell them too, I know it's not a lot but I try to be economical, I say this bc when we have sex sometimes his friend doesn't want to cooperate bc he thinks about stuff, obviously I though I was the problem but I tried to be cool and not make a big deal, because of I say something about it he gets sensible.
So...he does a family gathering once a year for 10 days, something cultural where they dance in fancy suits, it's pretty common in my country, I don't go that much because it is in the middle of the desert, they don't have bathrooms and when I go I'm really uncomfortable because I have to sleep with the kids, fortunately last year I was sick so it was the perfect excuse for not going. It was a normal gathering he told me, all normal but one day I saw a weird like on his photos, then I saw he hid Viagra in his wallet with a missing pill, so I picked his phone and I saw their conversation, it was pretty normal but she was really flirty, he wasn't really interested but with the days he gained confidence with her, he even sent her the photos he sent me, like his meals or his clothes, that hurts me because that's intimate for me, idk if it is for others, then I saw a message from her: "so... Did you break up with your girlfriend already?" I was in shock, then he responded with just a "no, I don't think I'll do that" then I kept reading and she was questioning him "you looked tired talking about her" "why are you two together?" Then he woke up and I couldn't read any further, I acted like nothing happened and I was going to the bathroom, days later I confronted him about the pills, he told me he used it with me, well, it can be, it's with me that you have that problem, but he could have used it with other people too. Then I confronted him about that woman, he told me she was a relative, that she was "my brother-in-law's nephew's second cousin" and I looked at him like "... Really?" And when I asked him why she said that about him breaking up with me he wasn't alone with her at the gathering, that his cousins, uncles and nephews were also there, like if that would make me feel better, that even his sister was there and was the only one that stood up for me, that's sweet but the others? Why are you bringing them to our relationship, they said that he should stop treating me like a princess, that if he was unhappy we should break up, now I don't know how to face these people, knowing they know our intimate life, that he resents me apparently, I don't think I could go in summer to visit them, I really don't know how to face them, I can't go there and act like nothing happen, I know they hate me now, how can I marry someone knowing they will be at our wedding watching me thinking I'm a spoiled princess that do nothing all day? Idk exactly what he told them, maybe he said worse things that he is hiding, I still think that woman wants something with him, but I'm in a state that I don't know if I care, it annoys me but what can I do? I'm already screwed, I don't know how to proceed, I've been so many years with him, I feel like everything is my fault, any advice?