u/Emotional-Royal-9830

“A recommended soft food is macaroni!” only if you don’t mind it taking 5 decades to eat a plate

Passive curiosity. I was thinking about how for ex. you might not know if someone has bipolar vs depression only working with them for a short period of time. Maybe conditions where the differential diagnosis is particularly complicated or conditions which aren’t encountered often in a clinical setting (making them harder to recognize?)

Also somewhat curious about the dimensions in dimensional models (HiTOP, AMPD)? Like, what are you more/less able/likely to find out about someone within a couple of sessions. Maybe kinda vague but for ex., I figure it’s difficult to tell if sth is somatoform or not w/o a doctor. Or someone could have unusual beliefs without thinking to tell you about them. But if someone were very anxious that probably shows up in their behavior whether or not they mention it. External stuff (like avoiding eye contact) is likely much easier to identify than the thinking behind it (social anxiety? differences in social communication? a magical belief about people’s eyes?)

Ik Im supposed to sleep on my back but apparently unconscious me doesn’t jive with that

Currently it's probably a 5/10 (makes it hard to concentrate but not that bad)

Local anesthesia has pretty much worn off I think cause my lips are no longer numb. Got all 4 taken out with Platelet-Rich Fibrin treatment. Bleeding some amount but the wounds look really clean

I should probably take some painkillers but my main gripe is that I absolutely hate being nauseous. If the pain got a lot worse that would be bad but it would be even worse for me to be nauseous

Update: it's now 8 hours post-extraction. I took half of a hydrocodone/APAP pill with some pear juice and that worked considerably well without being too difficult to swallow or making me nauseous. I'll probably take another one tomorrow morning and then go off if the pain doesn't seem to be coming back

Might just be because it wasn't done of my own volition (+ almost entirely through parent report) but there are parts of it that bother me. I don't exactly believe I don't have autism but it would be nice to see what smn else thinks about it

Weird things:

- Throughout the report I'm described as "struggling with social skills" (at the end their first recommendation is also social skills training + my SRS-2 score was "severe" for social items). Thing is, the long period of social isolation in childhood I think they were basing that on wasn't afaik due to a lack of social skills. It was due to paranoia around other people hating me + being potentially dangerous. I didn't at the time feel as if I wanted friends at all. In general my primary issue with reading people seem to be less an overall inability to read people and more a bias towards specific incorrect conclusions (which can then make me act in ways which are socially inappropriate like seeming cold towards people who show interest in me or becoming very anxious when it isn't warranted). It doesn't go away upon knowing people better either so I never quite feel like I've made a proper connection. The therapist who was administering the social skills training I was referred to was so convinced I didn't need it that he said I was "optimal outcome" which intersects in a weird way with the "severe" scores (+ considering I had received zero autism-specific interventions prior to that point)

- The intense interest that was mentioned in the report wasn't something I was doing purely because I liked it. I had convinced myself that I needed to study for the college entrance exam of a foreign country and therefore was desperately trying to learn the language. (Note: this was incredibly unrealistic but at the time it felt very important. I think it might have stemmed from how I was under a lot of external pressure that needed some kind of outlet)

- My sensory sensitivities related to sound were less sensory sensitivities and more weird worries I had related to sounds. Like, I hated pop music as a child because I believed listening to it would morally corrupt me. The sound of toilets flushing terrified me because I thought eldritch beasts could emerge from them if you flushed (this is when I was a much smaller child lmao). I'm not sure I have anything that could be described as a sensory sensitivity currently (although I seemed to have had some genuine ones as a child. Also, sudden noises bother me when I'm worked up about something or other)

- I'm not sure if my interests were actually restricted in range or if my mother just only knew about one or two. I usually avoided talking to her because I found her scary and unpredictable. It was sort of an accepted thing around the house that she had her "episodes" during which she would become incredibly upset over inconsequential things

- This isn't on the report but I'm writing about it because I find it odd. I'm unable to recognize people but don't seem to be faceblind? As in, I score just fine on measure of faceblindness + the problem persists even if someone's face isn't relevant to identifying them. It's more that everyone always feels like a new person to me each time I meet them until they confirm that they know me. That applies for myself too, like, I know it's me in the mirror but I don't recognize myself intuitively. I can never shake the feeling that I might not know anything about the person in front of me

- Also not on the report but subjectively I don't feel like I fit in with other autistic people? I fit in better than I do with people who are neurotypical but it feels like a different variety of social otherness rather than that otherness going away. If anything it's a more confusing sense of otherness because I think I'm supposed to feel at home

Wanted to ask about people's experiences with different generic forms of ivabradine

I'm currently on Corlanor and would really hate to go off of it given what happens to me without it but with it getting discontinued and all there's not much choice