I've been looking into getting a Kunath tenor because it's the size of a soprano and I have tiny hands. But I've heard conflicting reports about the sound quality and tuning. Anyone have experience?
This happened a few years back and I think it's the cruelest thing I've ever done to someone.
I used to belong to this loose group of acquaintances I met through a shared hobby. I wasn't particularly close to any of them and we've all since drifted apart. One woman joined the group (Jane, early 30s) and you could tell that Jane was a toxic mess from 6 miles away. She had terrible taste in men, was constantly shit talking people, disastrous financial situation, just overall a really unstable and pretty unpleasant person to be around.
So one night a group of us were out for drinks and the topic of dating came up--I was venting about a guy who seemed promising but then had ghosted me. And then Jane chimes in saying something like, "Oh OP you'll find someone eventually, a lot of guys are really superficial but you just need someone to look past everything and see what a great person you are inside." Everyone sort of froze and chuckled awkwardly and then moved on. It was humiliating to me because I'm pretty sensitive about my looks. In the moment I was too stunned to say anything but I was boiling with rage inside.
The next day I invited her out for coffee, just the two of us. She'd been mentioning wanting to move to a different apartment but lacked the finances to do so. I told her I'd found a program that might interest her, and then I showed her a website I'd found that was run by our city's welfare department--it was an independent living community / program for adults with developmental disabilities. The main image included a girl who visibly had Down's Syndrome.
I still remember how quiet and pale Jane got. She was like, "do you really think this applies to me?" I kept going (lying)--I told her I knew a girl who reminded me of her who had really benefited from this program. Look! They send someone to check on you every now and then, it's government funded, you don't need to rely on your parents any more!
She started tearing up and told me to go fuck myself, I didn't know her, she's not disabled. I acted confused and embarrassed, said you know what I must have misunderstood, never mind, forget I said anything. She just kept cursing me and then stumbled out of the coffeeshop crying and I never saw her again.
Few hours later the full weight of what I'd done came crashing down and I messaged her on Facebook, explaining that I knew what I'd been doing and I wanted to get back to her for what she'd said about me earlier. I apologized and told her that for both our sakes, we shouldn't communicate anymore. I know she saw the message but she never responded. I never saw her in the group again and I don't believe she ever told any mutuals.
What haunts me isn't only her stricken look that day, but the satisfaction I felt upon seeing it. She was an asshole but I was downright evil.
EDIT: To answer a couple of recurring comments and assumptions--1. This is real. 2. Yes, of course I feel bad for what I did and still do. That's why I pretty much immediately apologized and am posting it here now, because it still haunts me from time to time. 3. I started therapy later that year (partly because of what I'd done) and continue to this day. I'm far from perfect, but am a lot better than who I was. 4. Jane absolutely knew what she was doing. She'd commented on my looks previously, i.e. asking if I ever thought about getting plastic surgery or suggesting that previous boyfriends were embarrassed to be seen by me. She was constantly nasty towards other people in our circle, not just me, and had really sly, underhanded ways of putting people down and sabotaging them.
Nowadays if I ran into someone like Jane I'd tell them that what they'd said was hurtful and then distance myself permanently. I used to be an avoidant people pleaser type, which would result in resentment building up until it exploded in really destructive ways. Therapy has helped me realize this and come up with better ways of dealing with people like Jane.
Throwaway because this is super embarrassing for me and I don't want it affiliated with my regular account.
I (27 f) moved to a new area for work about 6 months ago and it's been tough finding a community and making genuine friendships. I met Mary (33 f) at an event a few months back and we bonded over our shared interests, and since then have met up quite a bit. Some context that will become unfortunately relevant--Mary is very short, well under 5 feet tall. But she is very obviously a grown woman in both her physical appearance and manner.
Yesterday there was this outdoor art show thing and my mom (58) came up to attend and visit me. She and I were walking around when we ran into Mary. My mom had never met her before so I introduced them to each other. My mom then literally crouches down to get on Mary's level with her hands on her knees and says "It's soooo nice to meet youuu!" In the slow, over-enunciated type of voice you'd use when speaking with a very young child. Mary was clearly taken aback and I was stunned. I said something like "Mom, Mary works at XYZ company" (which is an engineering firm because Mary is a fucking engineer) and my Mom CONTINUES TO USE THE VOICE and says "oh wow, how cooool!" Mary was just like, yeah it is, and then said she needed to get going and left.
My mom seemed completely oblivious to what she had done and didn't understand why I was so upset. I tried explaining how incredibly rude and condescending she had been and she kept brushing me off and denied using any sort of voice. Now she's angry with me because I told her she'd really embarrassed me and that I wanted some space from her, and she ended up going home early in a huff. I did manage to catch up with Mary later that day and apologize for my mom, and she was polite but pretty distant. She was also with some of her friends so I didn't feel comfortable laying the whole thing out in front of them.
I really need some advice on how to salvage my friendship with Mary (if it's salvageable) and also how to get my mom to understand just how inappropriate she was acting.
TL;DR: Mom treated my very short, professionally-accomplished friend like a child just because of her height; mom doesn't understand what she did wrong and friend is distancing herself from me.