u/EmotionalMedicine543

I own the house and the housemate is renting off me. In general he’s a good housemate and we have become friends. It took a while to find someone I thought it could work with so I don’t want to go through the stress of getting a new housemate. He pays rent on time, is tidy enough and I only have this one complaint: Every weekend he gets stupidly drunk. He’s not aggressive or rude to me in any way. But he listens to music in the common space, tries to talk to me about past regrets and his sadness - all while he’s wobbling all over the place and bumping into things. I don’t drink myself and while I don’t mind being around drunk people if I’m going out or at a party, if I’m not in that environment I don’t want to be around someone who is drunk. We are not talking about a glass or two of wine- He gets wasted. We are both 40 and it just seems sad to me. I used to just hide out in my room but now l feel like it’s not right that I feel uncomfortable in my own home every Friday and Saturday night. I asked him if he can stay in his room when he is wasted. He thinks it’s not fair because he’s not actually doing anything wrong except for being drunk. AITAH for trying to banish him from the common space?

I don’t often see myself as fat, but I usually see myself as a normal weight even when my treatment team tells me I need to gain weight. This has tripped me up a number of times when I’ve tried recovery, believed I was totally recovered, then became complacent when ED behaviours started to sneak back in. Anyone else experienced this or have any suggestions as to how to stick to recovery when you tend to believe you’ve already recovered enough?

For context I’m a visual artist, trying to build my professional credibility with the aim of making it my career one day. Before I relapsed with Anorexia things where starting to really pick up in this area of my life- I won some pretty large commissions, was shortlisted for a number of art prizes and was starting to build a small following with my work on social media. One thing I noticed people responded to online was videos of me making my art (Timelapse’s etc). I’d film myself and post the edited videos on various platforms online. I still have a lot of raw footage which I planned to edit and turn into reels, shorts etc.

I got really sick over the last year or so and I still am unfortunately- I am looking at going into inpatient treatment (again) very soon. My engagement with my art practice has really dropped off and I’m so disappointed in myself that I haven’t been able to keep up the momentum I built. Because of my poor health and going to treatment soon I’m not able to spend much time in the studio. I want to use a bit of the time spent sitting on my bum productively and I’d like to edit and post some videos. They often feature parts of my arm and hand and I struggle with how fat I look. Some of this is my disorder talking, but some of it is because I was on a large dose of steroids for another health condition not long before I relapsed and I did genuinely become overweight for a short period of time. When I look at the videos I feel embarrassed by how fat my arm and hand looks and I worry people will notice, although realistically they’ll probably just be noticing the art. So I’ve just avoided doing any of this editing work because of the ED thoughts that come up, although I know that I get more opportunities to build the career of my dreams when I have more of a presence on social media.

So should I just keep avoiding this task for now, wait until my relationship with my body improves (although that could be a while)? Or should I try to do this work anyway although it could lead to more thoughts about wanting to lose weight and restrict?

Thanks for any suggestions or feedback!

I’m in Australia for context and my Dr and I have tried and been unsuccessful in getting me into outpatient and residential treatment programs for my ED. He wants me to be in inpatient ED treatment again but thinks the easiest way for me to get into inpatient treatment is if I’m in hospital already. He doesn’t think I need an urgent medical admission but is trying to organise for me to go to a private psychiatric hospital. They have no programs for eating disorders but said they will accept people with eating disorders. What is the point of this? I’m definitely a real psychological and physical mess at the moment but the main reason is my poor intake. I don’t think my intake will improve in a general psyche hospital. Will they transfer me somewhere more suitable if things don’t improve there? Or would I just be wasting my time going somewhere that might be potentially traumatising and not get me any further in my recovery?

Stuck in a vicious cycle as the title suggests. I’ve just conceded to myself that I am no longer well enough to work. I’m a casual teacher so I can chose when I work but the last few times I went I almost fainted in class and I just can’t get myself to eat enough throughout the day to prevent myself having dizzy spells. So I’ve turned off my work availability for the foreseeable future and plan to live off savings and the disability pension (which I get for Rheumatoid Arthritis), none of which are long term financially viable options. I feel sad about work but all I can think about is how I need to become thinner. I know that path only leads to more misery but it’s like this thought is possessing me. I’ve been struggling with this relapse of anorexia for around a year and it’s just been a painful process of losing everything that’s important to me. Yet I can’t seem to let go off the thought that weight loss is the solution to my problems, even though I know it’s not. I’ve been in hospital but relapsed soon after and I’m probably on my way back there again. This illness is just horrible.