u/EmperorRicky78

Can we talk about this pattern on Grindr that's honestly getting comedic at this point?

The cycle goes like this: you link up, things happen, and then poof, they block you. Fine, that's normal

Then weeks later, sometimes days, a "new" account pops up. Somehow, you feel the same energy. A deja vu halafu the point of exchanging pics or location, same person

The excuse is always ready: "Nilipoteza account" like Grindr is a matatu, and the account fell out the window. Sober up, we all know blocking is a choice, deleting is a choice, and "losing" a login that resets via email in one tap is not a personality trait.

At this point, some of these guys aren't catfishing. They're doing a soft reboot. Same actor, new intro music, hoping we forgot the plot. Blocking someone is a decision. Deleting an app is a decision. Losing an account because you "forgot the password" when the app literally lets you recover via email in two clicks, that's not losing anything. We are not confusing a glitch with a choice.

Is anyone else stuck in this loop, or is it just me collecting frequent flyer miles on the same people?

All bottoms, ebu njoo hapa

Story time...

Umeoga, umedouche, umejipanga, uko fresh na ready. Then either:

1. Top haja-show up on time. Ghost mode, "traffic" excuses, or just silence. Or
2. Umefika place yake, everything set, then Jimmy anakataa kuamka. Nothing works.

For me the worst part isn't even the let down in the moment, it's the aftermath. Once that happens, I genuinely LOSE all interest in the guy, like mentally checked out. Doesn't matter how fine he is or how good the convo was before. No forgive and forget. Go ahead and block me ju I won't look back at it

At what point do you just say “sawa, it is what it is” and move on?

And genuinely, why do some tops have this ego where letting you down doesn't seem to bother them at all?

Aki na hii baridi si mpunguze kiburi kidogo 😅 Hamtakuwa mna-warm kitanda kila siku

So nimekuwa nikiona hii pattern kwa gay circles hapa Nairobi (and honestly online too) na nataka kujua kama ni mi tu ama watu wengine wameona hivyo. Hii "gym tribe" energy where the buff guys only vibe with other buff guys, wako na hii unspoken hierarchy ya who's "worth it" and who's not.

Kama hauko fit or you're just an average looking guy, unapata hii treatment ya "utafanya poa but not with us" energy. Sio verbal necessarily but the body language, the way convos die out, like the way you get added to groups then quietly ignored - unaeza feel it. Then wale wanapendwa mostly ni either the femme guys (kwa hio dynamic fulani ya "complementary" looks) ama the toned/masc guys who fit the aesthetic wanataka. Everyone else in between feels kama wako on the bench, like wanasubiri leftovers.

Sasa swali yangu ni hii - is this just gym culture in general (the fitness-obsessed always gatekeep kidogo, straight or gay), or ni something specific kwa jinsi looks inacheza out in gay spaces where dating pools ni ndogo already so the exclusion?

Kama umewahi experience hii either as the "average" guy getting sidelined, ama uko within that fitter group and umewahi notice how your circle treats guys who don't fit the mold - nataka kusikia. Sio ya kutuma hate, ni ya kuelewa why this hierarchy exists na kama kuna namna ya kuivunja ama at least kuwa aware yake.

Just seeing who's out there, not begging 😅

I'm 27 y.o. looking for a top. Sides, verses and bottoms, I love you guys but si leo

If conventional beauty is your non-negotiable, keep scrolling and save us both the time. I'm not your guy

I like good vibes, enthusiasm and conversation with actual momentum. Bring something more than one-word replies

Relationship? Until a better offer comes

Hit up 📥