u/EngineeringDue8007

Slow day at work today so I thought I’d do this! From bottom👎 to top⭐️ of the pyramid:

Fantome de Maules
Picture two street cats fighting, like claws out, yowling, really going at it. Now imagine one cat is a spritz of Fantome de Maules, and the other cat is my skin chemistry. That about sums it up. I’m not sure what went wrong here but I get coriander and vegetal tones layered over a really unpleasant, squeaky sour note- like vinegar and baking powder, or dettol cleaning spray.

Hexensalbe
Listen, I thought I liked witchy fragrances, but there’s crystals and Etsy spells witches and there’s this. I put this on late at night and had to scrub it off because I was scared a Siberian bog witch was going stalk me in my dreams. Salbe = ointment (look up the perfumer’s inspiration for the particular type of ointment it’s …interesting…) and they sure have nailed the “medieval medicinal” quality which objectively is very impressive! If you can pull off this fragrance kudos, I am terrified of you.

Silphium
I once bought a bottle of generic drugstore brand ginger shower gel that I threw out after 3 uses because it was unpleasantly tingly for a shower gel, Silphium smells exactly like it. There’s ginger, and the generic masculine soapy quality. I don’t have much else to say about it, very forgettable.

Thumbsucker
I’m not generally one for sweet perfumes but even if I was, I strongly believe this would not hit the spot. Imagine you were craving a chocolate chip cookie or whatever sweet treat of your choice and someone handed you a chunk of marzipan wrapped in fondant. I feel like this is very unbalanced, just artificial sickly sweetness with no vanilla, cashmere, anything to round it out and give it depth.

Monkeyflower
Photorealistic nectarine and sunscreen. A firm, slightly underripe nectarine and kids’ sunscreen to be specific- fun and slightly nostalgic. I’ve seen a few people on here looking for sunscreen fragrances so if you’re one of those people, look no further. The performance is unfortunately abysmal. 30 minutes outside the house and it’s gone- if you just apply actual sunscreen the scent will genuinely project more and last longer and you’ve saved yourself about $200

Pine-
I see why people like this one! I haven’t had other pine fragrances to compare this too but I’ve tried a few things with a hinoki note- similar, but hinoki is more of a fresh, spa type scent (cool) while Pine has a resinous, balsamic quality (warm). Very cozy and a lot of depth for a one note fragrance!
Unfortunately I’m getting a hint of that squeaky vinegar note again, so it’s middle of the pyramid for this one.

Mistpouffer-
The opening is fleeting and forgettable but the sugar, smoke and malt dry down is really satisfying. Malt is described as a beer note but that’s not really the case here, beer is more sour and bitter, this is pure toasty goodness! I will hand it to Stora Skuggan for highlighting some less common notes. That being said, malt takes center stage here so whether you like this fragrance really depends on if you love malt and can sit in a malt cloud all day without getting sick of it, and the jury’s still out for me on that one.

Moonmilk-
For context my family lived in Singapore for a while and we went on a very memorable holiday to Myanmar (before the coup), we talk about that trip all the time, it was the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to and this fragrance reminds me of it! The notes are black tea, lime and wood. I think the tea note is perfect as someone who enjoys a dry, bitter black loose leaf, steeped for ages, no milk. The wood is dark and a bit dusty- gives me the vibe of teak or mahogany. This is masc leaning to me but I’d rock it. Unfortunately sometimes I feel like this slips into shower gel territory so this is only my second place today. Also minus points for the name because I have no idea what this has to do with a moon and its milk. I’d rename it Mandalay🇲🇲

Azalai-
I feel like as a frag fan I’ve learned to never say no to a note because there will be a fragrance out there that has such a unique wonderful spin on it that you end up falling in love anyway. Happened to me with rose and DS & Durga’s Rose Atlantic, and now it’s happening with amber and Azalai, the amber here is so so smooth and works so nicely balanced against the other notes. Also the dried fruits and saffron, two more notes I used to steer clear of, are beautiful in this! Apart from those we have grapefruit (bright and juicy) and mint (mellow fresh mint, not the toothpaste kind) in the opening, incense and acacia on the dry down to round it out with a subtle honey sweetness. I didn’t think these notes would work together the way they did so I’m very impressed! I love a well-balanced fragrance, feels like the perfume equivalent of a 5 star restaurant- so this is my top of the pyramid today.

Posted my small collection on another sub saying I’m new to fragrances, got this comment from a man🤦🏼‍♀️

That’s why this sub is my go to btw! I honestly feel like most of the non-gendered or cologne subs are endless circle jerks where they don’t discuss any house other than LV, Xerjoff, Amouage and Creed. It’s so boring.

*Edit because this getting more traction than I thought- I am not actually upset by this!! I was being snarky because I thought the bedbug thing was funny and people could relate to the brand snobbery side of things. have a nice day everyone🫂

Forgive the probably boring collection post but I have been dying to share my babies on here. I feel happy with the line-up so I’m going to slow down and enjoy what I have, between this lot and my samples it’s been hard to make a proper dent in the bottles. However it is my birthday coming up and I need gift ideas, so feel free to suggest what I’m missing ;)

Pictured L-R: Serge Lutens L’Orpheline, 4160 Tuesdays Damn Rebel Witches, Discothèque Lola at Coat Check, Byredo Desert Dawn, Santa Maria Novella Lana, Vilhelm Parfumerie Poets of Berlin, and 19-69 Female Christ.

My impressions of each:

Female Christ (patchouli, eucalyptus, vanilla) is my favorite and the one that actually got me into fragrances! I stumbled on it at a boutique and was hooked because it wasn’t like anything I ever smelled before- I used to just wear generic designers gifted to me by various aunts for christmas but this fragrance cast a powerful spell to convince me that smelling like patchouli concentrate, candy heart necklaces and an old medicine cabinet rolled together was exactly what’s been missing from my life. This was about a year ago, I was studying for my masters and there was no way I could have afforded it at the time-
so I waited and got it with the first paycheck from my grad job. Signature scent worthy but it’s been nothing but warm weather since I bought her and the patchouli shines more in the cold.

Desert Dawn (vetiver, rose petals, silk) on the other hand is perfect for summer. This is a beautifully light, airy take on wood. Like a sexy tumbleweed rolling around in the breeze. Trust me when I say the silk note is present and it’s masterful. Got this after I fell in love with it at the Byredo store and felt compelled to take a 30 min detour on my way home from work every day to smell it again.

Lana (fig and leather) was a souvenir from Florence and is I think the most beautifully blended, classy fragrance I own. Lana is Thé Noir’s sophisticated older sister. Dark and a bit sultry, perfect for a summer evening wandering around cobbled streets in Italy or France. Pairs well with a glass of grappa after dinner. Fun fact, there is a scene in Casino Royale where Bond opens Vesper Lynd’s purse and it contains a Santa Maria Novella perfume- it was Melograno, but I’m firmly convinced that if Lana existed in 2006 that would have been her choice instead

Lola at Coat Check (sandalwood, white chocolate, pink pepper) is my all-rounder, cool girl and crowd pleaser, and has gotten me the most compliments (at least from my friend group). Lola is the life of the party. If she was a person she would grow out her armpit hair, wear cowboy boots and drive a Vespa.

Damn Rebel Witches (orange, tobacco, hazelnut and oakmoss) was a very successful blind buy I got for a steal in a discontinued sale. Witchy but urban cool at the same time. This fragrance probably has micro bangs. Perfect accessory to the wine bar or small plates restaurant.

L’Orpheline (incense and musk) is my cozy, wistful, slightly melancholic skin scent for when I’m having a quiet day indoors.

Plus I got the 10ml Poets of Berlin for summer travels but to be honest, I’m not sold on it. I want to love it, I really do- I mean I lived in Berlin and love David Bowie. I was oversold on the vanilla-lemon-wood combo and intrigued by the bamboo note, but too my nose this is artificial and tooth-rottingly sweet. In my middle school it was cool for some reason to have colorful little glittery hand sanitizers dangling from your school bag and Poets smells like the blueberry muffin version of this accessory. Not sure whether to resell or hope it grows on me

Had the chance to go the gorgeous Santa Maria Novella flagship store on my holiday and fell in love with Lana!!

According to the store attendant this was created in collaboration with a clothes brand (Lana means wool in italian) and was inspired by the irish countryside. Notes are fig, tobacco leaf, leather and wood.

Most of SMN’s line is clean, soapy citrus and florals so this one stood out to me- it’s rich purple warmth and green freshness at the same time. I don’t love brighter fig renditions like Philosykos and Debaser, but the fig here is dark, jammy and sophisticated. It’s actually pretty close to Thé Noir 29 by Le Labo which I wanted to love but turned sour and boozy on me- Lana is a perfect substitute! Apart from fig the main note I pick up is a sort of plant stem smell- a slightly bitter, herbaceous green note and a sweet milky note like plant sap. Basically feels like an entire fig tree in a bottle- the ripe fruits, the leaves, the stem and the trunk.

So happy to have taken her home 🐑